Hello again.
It sounds like you’re having a heck of a time and I understand you are quite newly wed. Three months is still very early (thanks for that, Richard!) and I don’t know enough about what functions of the brain are where to understand whether the kind of deficits you’re describing in your husband seem likely to be ones directly related to his surgery etc. I guess depending on how directly they relate may indicate how much he will improve from how he is today or how much could relate to “collateral” damage done and may not improve as well.
How is he in himself?
I’m following the reports of the writer, Hanif Kureshi, who had a fall while on holiday in Italy perhaps last Christmas, through Twitter. Hanif has a spinal injury and is going through a painfully slow progress to recover his motor skills after the accident. I can see that he has been able to stand briefly, supported, recently but what is anguishing him most is the glacial pace of change that he is living through. Hanif is clearly quite depressed but as more detached observers we can at least see some progress through his motor therapies.
In terms of trying to encouraging you about how long these things can take (and how patient you may need to be) I rather like the following film that I saw on TV a few years ago. My Amazing Brain - BBC Horizon - #2 by DickD It charts the progress of an older gentleman after a massive stroke that affected a number of areas of capability: his strength and motor skills, his information processing and his language skills. What we can see in the film is an example of a recovery from stroke (note, not from an AVM surgery) and the subject’s progress over 3 or 4 years.
You have an incredibly difficult situation with your husband and I hope you’ll get more of him back over time.
Lots of love,
Richard