Ideas on how to stay positive?

I am a social worker who is supposed to be able to support people through hard times. I started a support group in my area because there weren’t any and I needed someone to talk to. I had my AVM in 2008 and have gone through hours of physical therapy and occupational therapy. Lately I’m finding it more and more difficult to stay positive. I haven’t had the support group in about six weeks because I just can’t go there and smile encouragingly to everyone.

Gisele, we all have those days, or weeks, or months, whatever. Personally I get really tired of people saying “but at least you’re still alive” or something to that respect. Yes dammit I’m alive but sometimes it really sucks to be me! I always find comfort here on this site. To me reading other people’s stories of success always inspires me. What really works for me too is helping others and offering advice to people who are going through something similar to what I went through, I guess like with the support group you’ve started. Maybe you can have a meeting soon because this time you’re the one who needs support? Someone to talk to is always a good thing when at times I’m feeling not so miraculous! I really don’t know what other ideas I could give you, but know that this too shall pass. When all else fails, drink a glass of wine and watch some Robin Williams comedy!

Gisele,…

My ideas on how to stay positive,…

Well,…

First of all,…don’t be so hard on yourself. Accept the fact that you will have good days and not so good days…Yeah?
Second,…Look for the blessings in your life that you know of, and count them.(ie),…You wake up alive, and make note to yourself that today is a good day, and you WILL have a good day.
Third,… Surround yourself with positive thinkers and actors. (positive thoughts breed positive actions)
Fourth,…Look for the “good” in people, and know how to apply that “good” to yourself.
Fifth,…A positive attitude comes from within, “If you think you can,…you CAN,…If you think you can’t,…well,…you’re right”, “You are,…What you do,…When it counts”, "Do,…or Do not,…there is no try"
Sixth,…Put on your daily armor of positivity, yes you will still be human within, but your armor will protect you and help you slay the dragons of adversity you will face.
Seventh,…(as soon as I find my pleated cheerleading skirt and my pom poms,…we’ll have another session),…(juz messin wit cha),…lol,…(try to keep a sense of humor)

Gisele,…and most importantly,…know that I, and many others, are here for you. This AVM Survivors site is a plethora of good, caring, considerate souls, and that all of us can help you with your search for a more positive attitude.
My promise to you,…I will be here for you,…anytime,…anyplace,…anywhere.

Your friend,…

William

Hello Gisele, I think we all have dark times and find it hard to be positive. The best thing for me is to keep feeling ‘grateful’, no whatever what! Also, you don’t have to be smiling and encouraging all the time… thats what a support group is all about, this is what we are here for, to help you thorough these times. Tell us what is bothering you, tell just one person here, as a problem shared, is a problem halved, and I know that you will get help here.
Every day I wake up, I thank God for this day and I am full of gratitude as it was so close to me not being here. I hope you find some peace and positive thinking Gisele, please let us know how you are doing.
Your friend, Lesley.

Thanks Trish. Sometimes I forget to be happy that I’m alive…and then I realize that I’m not the only one that this has happened to and people out there do “get it”. Robin Williams is on tonight!!

Trish said:

Gisele, we all have those days, or weeks, or months, whatever. Personally I get really tired of people saying “but at least you’re still alive” or something to that respect. Yes dammit I’m alive but sometimes it really sucks to be me! I always find comfort here on this site. To me reading other people’s stories of success always inspires me. What really works for me too is helping others and offering advice to people who are going through something similar to what I went through, I guess like with the support group you’ve started. Maybe you can have a meeting soon because this time you’re the one who needs support? Someone to talk to is always a good thing when at times I’m feeling not so miraculous! I really don’t know what other ideas I could give you, but know that this too shall pass. When all else fails, drink a glass of wine and watch some Robin Williams comedy!

William, thank you thank you thank you! You have helped make this day a good day just knowing that I’m not weird because I have a bad day. I will keep touching base on this site. I think I can, I think I can…choo choo!
Gisele :slight_smile:

William said:

Gisele,…

My ideas on how to stay positive,…

Well,…

First of all,…don’t be so hard on yourself. Accept the fact that you will have good days and not so good days…Yeah?
Second,…Look for the blessings in your life that you know of, and count them.(ie),…You wake up alive, and make note to yourself that today is a good day, and you WILL have a good day.
Third,… Surround yourself with positive thinkers and actors. (positive thoughts breed positive actions)
Fourth,…Look for the “good” in people, and know how to apply that “good” to yourself.
Fifth,…A positive attitude comes from within, “If you think you can,…you CAN,…If you think you can’t,…well,…you’re right”, “You are,…What you do,…When it counts”, “Do,…or Do not,…there is no try”
Sixth,…Put on your daily armor of positivity, yes you will still be human within, but your armor will protect you and help you slay the dragons of adversity you will face.
Seventh,…(as soon as I find my pleated cheerleading skirt and my pom poms,…we’ll have another session),…(juz messin wit cha),…lol,…(try to keep a sense of humor)

Gisele,…and most importantly,…know that I, and many others, are here for you. This AVM Survivors site is a plethora of good, caring, considerate souls, and that all of us can help you with your search for a more positive attitude.
My promise to you,…I will be here for you,…anytime,…anyplace,…anywhere.

Your friend,…

William

Gisele
I could not have said it any better than William. There was a time this really got me down and than I realized I was only hurting myself. Today I live for each day and make the best of it that I can. If I think in a negative matter than I ask myself what is the positive of it and focus on it. Believe me I have my bad times but it is normal and now I realize that and know there is nothing wrong with me I am only being human. The road of life brings us many things but along that road I am stopping to smell the flowers!
All my best to you and know you have many friends here.
Lee Ann

Hello, Gisele,
YOU have done something positive: Nick named one of my granddauthers: Gisele.
All the resposes regarding your situition are good. I have been there, this worked for me: days that I felt like my family didn’t care, I did 2-things, Listen to music(any type) that gave me good feeling,2. view photos/pics about trees/flowers, anything green ( used to plant all types of plants) soft colors, etc.

You started life with a purpose, make that life full of purpose for us!

Note: I have to give a hell of alot of credit, you started a support group, I’m far from doin that, RIGHT ON!

Thanks Gerardo,
Green things are helpful I agree. I’m not that talented at it though. I planted indoor herbs and ended up with basil, rosemary and some grass! The wind blew some seeds into the pot that I thought was parsley and I watered and talked to what turned out to be grass. I still have it there…what the heck, it’s green and it’s alive. :slight_smile:

Gerardo (David) Barriga said:

Hello, Gisele,
YOU have done something positive: Nick named one of my granddauthers: Gisele.
All the resposes regarding your situition are good. I have been there, this worked for me: days that I felt like my family didn’t care, I did 2-things, Listen to music(any type) that gave me good feeling,2. view photos/pics about trees/flowers, anything green ( used to plant all types of plants) soft colors, etc.

You started life with a purpose, make that life full of purpose for us!

Note: I have to give a hell of alot of credit, you started a support group, I’m far from doin that, RIGHT ON!

Gisele, you can always talk to me. I had surgery in 2004. There have been alot of ups and downs and changes, even now. It is one thing to talk to doctors, specialists, etc. - they have the “book learning” of all of it but it is so not the same as talking to people who have gone through it too and really understand what you are talking about and feeling. I could go on an on but anyway, we are relatively close location wise - I am here.

Gisele you are amazing do you not know that ? You have come so far in such a short time as to be amazing ! This avm journey is not one chosen by any - there is no book of rules to assist us . We are all in uncharted territory traversing unfamiliar ground in a foriegn land and it is perilous terraine filled with steep mountains to ascend where the footing is precarious at best . The pit falls are many and hidden from view , not everything is what it seems and there is always a mis-step at hand and the fall is often so painful that the ground hurts from it . No guide at hand and no handbook in hand we attempt to move passed survival and in to the living of life in a straight-straightforward fashion with a forward -fluid motion .
That is what you have accomplished /are accomplishing in every moment of every hour of every day . In and of itself a rather amazing feat is it not ? Add to that little things like the physical and psychological work you do , as well as knowing what you need ( support ) and starting a group and being here and able to share so much of yourself which brings out the best of the best of others who then go forward and do more for themselves and for others … amazing . That is how it goes and groes Gisele-from one to the next to the other ; One breath , one moment , one task and one day at a time in a forward and fluid motion .
Sometimes it is all too much and we stop for a bit or we fall or we just do not want to “do” it … and that is all right as well . Those moments do not last forever -no moments do . Fortuneately around here there is always someone to listen to your words - hear your screams -share your laughter - try to help lessen your burdens - put a loving bandaid on your wound and if you have fallen - someone will stand by you and wait for you to get up or put a hand out for you to hold or use as leverage to get back up on your own or pull you up if need be . We are all individuals and make our ways along this journey in our own fashion and time , no one can do the work for us . No one can be in our shoes but us - they will not fit properly . BUT there are those who can and will be there for you along the way and share themselves because the commonality here transcends all previously known boundaries .
Perhaps you can not be as objective about yourself as you would be towards a client but you can go to the mirror and say hello to the amazing woman with a good heart who is more than deserving of your compassionate understanding of the fact that she need not always be the one to give the encouraging smile , that sometimes the knowing smile is the one that lights the road . No ?
So…where is your music ? Dance woman it is good for the coordination , balance , heart , soul and mind ! You do not dance ? Dance any way …and if you fall or bump into things and people just laugh at yourself and with yourself and others will laugh right along with you … dancing and laughing are contagious !
I hope the days are as good as they can be and better . I hope you get back to your group as soon as you can and allow them to give to you some of what ( it is obvious ) you give to them . I hope you know that leaders need a fill-up and a rest too . But you know that don’t you ?
Be good to you . Take care of you .

Marianne, you are a godsend! Where do you live? Want to come over for dinner? thank you so much for your kind words. What I find so great about this site is that you “get it”.
thanks for helping me feel like I belong somewhere…
Gisele

See Marianne, that’s what I meant. You are the absolute very best at making people feel better. And quite eloquently I might add!

marianne elizondo said:

Gisele you are amazing do you not know that ? You have come so far in such a short time as to be amazing ! This avm journey is not one chosen by any - there is no book of rules to assist us . We are all in uncharted territory traversing unfamiliar ground in a foriegn land and it is perilous terraine filled with steep mountains to ascend where the footing is precarious at best . The pit falls are many and hidden from view , not everything is what it seems and there is always a mis-step at hand and the fall is often so painful that the ground hurts from it . No guide at hand and no handbook in hand we attempt to move passed survival and in to the living of life in a straight-straightforward fashion with a forward -fluid motion .
That is what you have accomplished /are accomplishing in every moment of every hour of every day . In and of itself a rather amazing feat is it not ? Add to that little things like the physical and psychological work you do , as well as knowing what you need ( support ) and starting a group and being here and able to share so much of yourself which brings out the best of the best of others who then go forward and do more for themselves and for others … amazing . That is how it goes and groes Gisele-from one to the next to the other ; One breath , one moment , one task and one day at a time in a forward and fluid motion .

Sometimes it is all too much and we stop for a bit or we fall or we just do not want to “do” it … and that is all right as well . Those moments do not last forever -no moments do . Fortuneately around here there is always someone to listen to your words - hear your screams -share your laughter - try to help lessen your burdens - put a loving bandaid on your wound and if you have fallen - someone will stand by you and wait for you to get up or put a hand out for you to hold or use as leverage to get back up on your own or pull you up if need be . We are all individuals and make our ways along this journey in our own fashion and time , no one can do the work for us . No one can be in our shoes but us - they will not fit properly . BUT there are those who can and will be there for you along the way and share themselves because the commonality here transcends all previously known boundaries .

Perhaps you can not be as objective about yourself as you would be towards a client but you can go to the mirror and say hello to the amazing woman with a good heart who is more than deserving of your compassionate understanding of the fact that she need not always be the one to give the encouraging smile , that sometimes the knowing smile is the one that lights the road . No ?

So…where is your music ? Dance woman it is good for the coordination , balance , heart , soul and mind ! You do not dance ? Dance any way …and if you fall or bump into things and people just laugh at yourself and with yourself and others will laugh right along with you … dancing and laughing are contagious !

I hope the days are as good as they can be and better . I hope you get back to your group as soon as you can and allow them to give to you some of what ( it is obvious ) you give to them . I hope you know that leaders need a fill-up and a rest too . But you know that don’t you ?

Be good to you . Take care of you .

Trish- I agree whole heartedly! Marianne is such a great one for positve words, encouragement, and just that “Feel Good-ness” which I SO love from her!!! If you ever need a little pick me up or just some kind words…you can count on her! Plus, she also is a fellow fan of shoes!!! And I just can’t resist a girl after my own heart :slight_smile:

Oh, and Gisele- I completely agree with what Trish said in her first post about reaching out to those who are IN your support group when you are the one who needs it. I’ve found myself in that same position- completely willing, ready, and capable of giving support and advice to others…but following that myself…well not so much! We are always hardest on ourselves. I find that a good “pity pit” day, some treats, and a day to wallow in my own pathetic-ness can actually release all the negative emotions I try so hard to keep at bay. Letting them out and freeing them does end up freeing ME! Then I can take that deep breathe and move forward with all the confidence and positive energy that I know is still there in me.

Good luck. And if all else fails, buy some shoes and tell Marianne all about them!!! :slight_smile:

Trish said:

See Marianne, that’s what I meant. You are the absolute very best at making people feel better. And quite eloquently I might add!

marianne elizondo said:
Gisele you are amazing do you not know that ? You have come so far in such a short time as to be amazing ! This avm journey is not one chosen by any - there is no book of rules to assist us . We are all in uncharted territory traversing unfamiliar ground in a foriegn land and it is perilous terraine filled with steep mountains to ascend where the footing is precarious at best . The pit falls are many and hidden from view , not everything is what it seems and there is always a mis-step at hand and the fall is often so painful that the ground hurts from it . No guide at hand and no handbook in hand we attempt to move passed survival and in to the living of life in a straight-straightforward fashion with a forward -fluid motion .
That is what you have accomplished /are accomplishing in every moment of every hour of every day . In and of itself a rather amazing feat is it not ? Add to that little things like the physical and psychological work you do , as well as knowing what you need ( support ) and starting a group and being here and able to share so much of yourself which brings out the best of the best of others who then go forward and do more for themselves and for others … amazing . That is how it goes and groes Gisele-from one to the next to the other ; One breath , one moment , one task and one day at a time in a forward and fluid motion .
Sometimes it is all too much and we stop for a bit or we fall or we just do not want to “do” it … and that is all right as well . Those moments do not last forever -no moments do . Fortuneately around here there is always someone to listen to your words - hear your screams -share your laughter - try to help lessen your burdens - put a loving bandaid on your wound and if you have fallen - someone will stand by you and wait for you to get up or put a hand out for you to hold or use as leverage to get back up on your own or pull you up if need be . We are all individuals and make our ways along this journey in our own fashion and time , no one can do the work for us . No one can be in our shoes but us - they will not fit properly . BUT there are those who can and will be there for you along the way and share themselves because the commonality here transcends all previously known boundaries .
Perhaps you can not be as objective about yourself as you would be towards a client but you can go to the mirror and say hello to the amazing woman with a good heart who is more than deserving of your compassionate understanding of the fact that she need not always be the one to give the encouraging smile , that sometimes the knowing smile is the one that lights the road . No ?
So…where is your music ? Dance woman it is good for the coordination , balance , heart , soul and mind ! You do not dance ? Dance any way …and if you fall or bump into things and people just laugh at yourself and with yourself and others will laugh right along with you … dancing and laughing are contagious !
I hope the days are as good as they can be and better . I hope you get back to your group as soon as you can and allow them to give to you some of what ( it is obvious ) you give to them . I hope you know that leaders need a fill-up and a rest too . But you know that don’t you ?
Be good to you . Take care of you .

Gisele, I just tell myself, I am still alive once i wake up everyday, yesterday is gone and dead, look forward for a brand new day.

Gisele, Hi there, Thank you for posting your question, I too am looking for ways to stay positive as my husband is the one that had the AVM, I pray you are able to keep pushing through this, and hang in there. I see that its not easy, as I try to help my husband, you all are amazing people!