Letting Go

I am often reminded of the quot in Dr. Yaylor’s Stroke of insight book "I was living large! Because at 37 a few years ago, I too was living large"I had everythng I ever wanted in life, just the way I wanted it! Dumb luck or hard work?? I don’t know… but my previous happness haunts me! ! i have flickering images and memories of that happiness and peace… The littlest thing can set me off! Usually a familiar song on the radio Or even stupid things like a pair of socks I wore on a ski trip to Vail! not to mention the obvious, photographs and conversations with my family! Anyone have a suggestion to letting go of the life I had pre-AVM, other than the trite move on with new interests and activities! however, being paralyzed from the bleed on my left arm and leg and eye, means i don’t drive an auto, so i am really limited in the activities I ca persue to move my life forward! Sorry, probably just having a misery loves company moment! !

Nicole, we all have those moments.Life is different, no doubt. Harder? Most definitely. All bad? No way! There are certainly things I miss about my life “pre-bleed”, driving being #1! I think we need to try to think of as many positives about this expeience as possible. Sounds crazy, but there are a few. For me…I can’t work any more but now I get to be home for my kids all the time. I listen to others talk about how hard their lives are and I think to myself “you have no idea!”. I appreciate each and every day with my family more than any of my friends ever will. I very rarely get angry any more. Nothing seems to be worth getting that upset about. And, I never sweat the small stuff. We can certainly appreciate that! I definitely didn’t ask fofr this to happen to me, but I’m actually kind of glad that it did. It makes me realize what’s really important.

Thank you Trish, for reminding me of the peaceful ebb and flow that now exists. although i too have more quiet time to spend with my children, I am not as interactive in thier lives! Prior, I was a coach and a room mother. However most of this is attributed to the surrendering of my driver’s liscence, rather than my immediate abilities. Either way i’m so out of the loop. Additionally my husbamd of 20 years filed for divorce, this Spring, andhe said he couldn’t do “this” any more, not a sob-story, just my reality, and why like Lesley so eloquently put, "i am jealous of the old me!"

Nicole I undersstand what you going through or what you been through. My bleed was in November 2009. And my life change I was very much independant I didn depend on anyone. And by living in Texas and you live with someone for 6 months its common-law marriage so I was with him for 12yrs. and guess what he cheated on me while I was in the hospital (ICU). But you have to think about you and your children. It’s not over we will get better with time. And I had to look at it like this there is someone worst than what we are going through. God as plans for us. Just put it in his hands. Best wishes to you, and may GOD continue to bless us…

Thanks annette,it helps to read for some reason. The whole misery loves company deal I guess, unfortunately! So, I will rebuild my life around myself this time oh well, at least I can count on me!!