Some family members, try to get information or try to spread incorrect information because they think due to my brain injury. They think I don't know enough to know what they are trying to do. It truly offents me when they try that!
It feels like "Lets call the brain injuried person to get the scoop or spread information around". They incorrectly picked the wrong person for what they want.
What bothers me the most is that I believe other family members think I no longer know when to keep private information, private. They have lost trust in me. We don't lose our intelligence, which I belive they think. It makes me so angry that they feel this way.
The strange thing is that my friends don't do that to me....only family members.
My dear friend, I'm so sorry you're going through this w/ your family. I don't have any words of wisdom but know your family HERE is with you!
BIG hugs,
Patti
So sorry to hear that you have to experience this with family members! While I haven't experienced this yet, one option that you have is to kindly explain to them that you do not feel comfortable talking about others (whether this be gettting the scoop or spreading the info) while they are not present and to please respct you enough to not continue to put YOU (the wonderful YOU that you are) in that situation.
Ugh...yes, Louisa...if you can include the inappropriate assumptions of what I can and cannot do. I think a lot of things get lumped into something else based on what somebody knows from something else...and that's terribly annoying.
I'm currently involved in a highly sensitive family death (in the southern region) really not my forte to begin with...so things that are mentally and emotionally tiring (ex: today we gathered to plan out my uncle's memorial service with some relatives that I rarely see).
A bunch of different emotions to begin with and then you add this AVM jazz plus things that are false that get lumped on - not pretty, to say the least.
As if you haven't been going through enough all the other aspects of "AVM fallout"! I think that Michelle's advice is very good. You come out sounding quite sane and mature and the other person will hopefully realize that, as well as put them in their place!
Ninibeth...Please always know that you can talk to us any time you want to...To be honest, I only discuss my AVM with my beloved AVM friends, because they really are the only people who can understand.
My brother who I've always supported now thinks he can't trust me with knowing that he's going to leave his wife, which he really should do! Having a brain injury does not make us say things we shouldn't say, EXCEPT right after our bleed and as you know that stops...it doesn't last forever.
You stay positive and know that I'm always here for you!
All that is left of my immediate family - my mother and sister, think that my condition is "nothing" and haven't really spoken to me at all. No visit in the hospital after my brain surgery, no phone call to see how I was doing, no visit after I spent 4 days in the hospital after my grand mal seizures, no phone calls. Every now and then I get an email from my mother to see how I am doing, with offers for free tickets to theme parks with fireworks displays or zoos which I cannot even walk around or take part in that I have to deny. Like, do they even read up on my condition? I just don't even talk to them at this point, my mother gets one sentence responses. It's a joke.
I am so sorry you have to go through all of that with the brain injury! I had some problems with family members too! I don't know why people attack when you are down, but I hope it gets better for you!
Weezie, I've been out of the loop for quite a while so I apologize for not responding sooner. But...I'm back!
I completely understand and can relate to what you're experiencing. It took a long while before my family or friends would trust me again with "sensitive" information. My husband always trusted me, but you know he's a different breed!
People, including family, often assume that because we have a brain injury that we're somehow less intelligent or somewhat unstable because of it. I may have lost some of my brain but I'm almost as smart as I used to be :) I just can't do math anymore!
I understand your anger but know that I trust you and I value you as a friend. A dear, sweet friend. I'll call you sometime and tell you all about the drama in the neighborhood! It's very sensitive information! Love you!!