Pregnancy a crani and hemiparesis

ok so ive been on this site a couple months now. ive replied to discussions but have yet to start one in hopes of finding someone else to do it first.
so, here i go…
timeline: 13 weeks preg–had avm bleed, right side of brain. left-side paralysis
14 weeks-- first embo(success)
15 weeks-- second embo (unsuccessful)
20 weeks-- crani (successful)
currently, 35 weeks and freaking.
my neurosurgeon has cancelled 2 followup appointments so i have yet to c him since the crani–was too sleepy or drugged up to know what he was saying after crani so i dont count those visits. im seeing my regular obgyn but he has never had a patient like me, never dealt with avms in his 25 years of practicing medicine. hes not sure what my brain can handle, not sure if i need c-section or can deliver naturally safely. im also seeing a maternal fetal medicine (mfm) doctor who swears an epideral and some suction will b perfectly safe and successful for me and baby. he also says theres more risks with a c-section while my obgyn says the complete opposite. the mfm dr makes it sound like, because this is my second baby, he will slip right out LOL. my sis has 4 kids, none of them just slipped right out. so, idk what to do or think, i will probably have c-section but i as wondering QUESTION1: has anyone on here delivered naturally (vaginally) after a crani? o, my crani was only 2 months ago.
also QUESTION2: were u paralyzed? if so, how do u handle a baby with one arm? can u hold him? can u rock him to sleep? can u bathe him? can u dress him? or do u hav to give all that up and watch ur husband struggle to b a mommy? or do u watch someone else swoop in, some stranger, and take care of ur baby? im so afraid there will b NO bonding between us because of how limited i MIGHT be. PLEASE HELP ME!!! I NEED ADVICE AND POSITIVE STORIES!!!—

Sweetie…it is very important that you see your neuro doc especially during your pregrancy…I would call their office on Monday and if they can’t see you immediately, ask them who they can refer you to for an immediate appointment.

There is a group here on the network that be able to help you for your questions…

You will be in my prayers…

I agree with Louisa about trying again to see the neurosurgeon. When you call your neurosurgeon’s office, ask to speak with him or with his nurse, or leave a voice mail for them. (So you aren’t just dealing with the front desk staff.) Explain that this is urgent, since your delivery date is near, and since your other doctors don’t have AVM experience. Even if he can only talk to you on the phone, he is the person who knows your AVM situation the best and can give you the best advice. Call every day if that’s what it takes to get a response.

A referral, like Louisa said, is a good second option. If you go to another neurosurgeon, be prepared with copies of your medical records, including surgical reports and any films. The surgeon’s office SHOULD be willing to send these to you or to the other office, but you can get them yourself through the hospital’s medical records department if you need to.

I am not a mother myself, but I know of many women who are mothering with disabilities. Your AVM and hemiparesis are definitely going to make your experience different, but you CAN do it, and you definitely will bond with your baby!

Hi. You may wish to contact…

You will be an amazing mother to your new baby, just like you already are!! It may be different but the baby won’t know. He/She will only know they are loved!!! Think of all you have already gotten through! I hope that with time you will continue to recover! I have an 8 month old son so if you ever need someone to talk too just send me a note!!! I will keep you in my prayers! With my second (Baby is # 3 for me) I was also worried about bonding without any disabilities so that fear is completely normal!! Keep Strong!

I also agree with Louisa too! Sorry you are going through this. I have an AVM but they told me to just be monitored & if I wanted to get pregnant that I would have to be on bed rest & also a c-section. I wish you the best & keep us posted!

Like Kathryn said, your baby will only know that you love him/her, no matter what disabilities you may have. I have two girls but my bleed was when they were young. They take all of my “issues” in stride and love me no matter what I can or can’t do. And they remember what it was like before my bleed, when I was able to do more with and for them. You will surprise yourself with how you adapt to cope with the challenges of being a new mom. And remember, you a still very early in your recovery. 2 months is nothing in terms of recovery. I remember seeing a story on TV of a women with no arms. She had 2 young children, one an infant. She was able to change diapers, feed them, dress them, etc. All with her feet. She said she never really thought about how difficult it seems to others. It’s just what she had to do. You may not be physically able to do all that you would like to do with your new baby, but you will be great regardless, because you will know how hard you have worked to have him/her. Please post pictures of your baby when you can. Best of luck to you!

I had my bleed at 14 weeks pregnant. Right temporal. 6th pregnancy 4th son. Carried him to term delivered via C-Section 5 months later at 12 pounds. Who the heck wants to deliver a 12-pounder vaginally anyways?? Joseph is beautiful and learning to talk and even takes swim lessons on Fridays now that he is 18 months! During my Crani my husband a staunch Catholic refused to abort and all is well

thank yu lousa, i will check into that group even if theres only time to share my experience after i deliver rather than receive anwers or info during preg.
JH… i feel silly for not thinking of asking to speak with someone from his office directly. i live in south texas, 3 hours from his office in san antonio. i was referred and transferred by another dr. on monday my plans r to call medicaid and have them set up the appointment with the local dr, hoping they will have better luck explaining its importance. another problem i am facing is that my disability case was put on hold until the examiner can review the paperwork from this followup.

Louisa said:

Sweetie…it is very important that you see your neuro doc especially during your pregrancy…I would call their office on Monday and if they can’t see you immediately, ask them who they can refer you to for an immediate appointment.

There is a group here on the network that be able to help you for your questions…

You will be in my prayers…

thank you for so many positive and encouraging thoughts and stories. i have learned to dress myself and my 3 year old son with one arm, but we dont have wobbly heads lol. my son was there for my bleed, i woke up on the floor with him standing over me crying and begging me to get up. he saved my life simply because of the fact that i felt that i had to stay awake and alert for him. as soon as i could manage to speak i asked him to get my phone. he climbed a desk 2 times his height to get it for me, i never could have gotten it on my own–i couldnt get up nevermind crawl that far. as soon as the paramedics came and broke down the door, i passed out and didnt regain any real state of consiousness until the next day. my son has accepted this “new” me without question, i only wish i could do it that easily or mayb even my fiance who still keeps telling me how different i am, how moody i can b and how he doesnt know how to talk to me sometimes. it makes me sd to think that this baby will never know the “real” me…the active mom i "used’ to be. the mom that would sit on the floor building train tracks and adding bridges made of legos. the mom that would jump out of a corner to “scare out the crap of me” as my son would say it. the mom that wasnt afraid because she was capable of going downstairs without a gait belt, an AFO, a cane and someone there to help her. this baby will know none of that and i hate myself for that being his life, for causing this bcause ultimately, this is somehow my fault. is it normal to feel this guilty? and now i’m ranting, sorry.

Oh, sweetie…You have every right to rant, to feel all that you are feeling. However, you are strong and you can make it through this…your children will love you no matter what! You may be different, but NOT worse… Perhaps you shouldn’t be on an anti-depression med while pregrant, however, once the baby is born, it does help to get through the bad times. Trust me, there are many people on this site that need to be on anti-depression medication. Hang in there…We’ll all be here to help you through this…In the meantime…Keep the Faith! (If you ever need to chat…go on this sites Chat (look at More for Chat)…Give your son a big hug and kiss from me!

Try to stay positive… The next few years may be hard but like trish said it is only 2 months recovery while pregnant… who knows how far you will get in the next few years!! And if this is the new you, your children will grow up with so much kindness and empathy for people with disabilities! You may not phyisically be able to do everything but you will teach your children lessons that other parents will envy! DONT EVER BLAME YOURSELF!!! This is not your fault, s*#t happens and you have no control over it! I know when I was at the end of my pregnancy I was so emotional with hormones that i was a basket case! Hopefully once baby comes your hormones will settle down!! ((((((((HUGS)))))))

I didnt even realize that most ppl who have cranis or avms should b on an antidepressant until i was on this site. no one mentioned it, doctors, i mean. but with all these law suits from the birth defects that zoloft caused and it wasnt until after they had taken me off of the anti-seizure meds (just in case after my first admit; i never had a seizure unless suddenly going blank is a seizure). i found out that cleft palates were related to those meds. i hope my baby is safe, i would take all kinds of disabilities if it meant for him to b “normal” kathryn u r right and i hope my son will walk away with so much from this experience. hes very supportive (for a 3 year old) he yells at me when my arm is hanging “mommy pick up your arm!” he walks in front of me to pick up his toys so i dont have an obstacle (or gauntlet) and he does this without being told. staying positive has been difficult since day one but it does get easier a little at a time. thanks for helping put some things into perspective for me. i def need ppl who have been thru this (with or without the pregnancy) to have some sort of understanding WITH me instead of FOR me. ppl say, “i can imagine” but can they really?