So I have been struggling. My focus is way off. I cant multi task at all (which makes my job tuff). I have a lot of trouble with my words. I will be in the middle of a sentence and I come to a complete stop. I hear the word in my head but I can’t find it to say out loud. This has been getting worse. My concentration is so bad which again makes my job almost impossible. I have now developed a twitch on my face. So frustration. I am headed to neuro Aug 1, but from reading everyones posts doesn't look like I will get anywhere. Not enough research on the memory and concentration thing. So what happens when my job is in jeopardy because my performance is getting iffy due to my issues. I keep trying to put it out of my head every time something happens. Like, "oh that was just a onetime thing". Well it is more and more and I cant keep ignoring it. I take 0 medication or any therapy. Please, if anyone can tell me I am not crazy and this is because of my avm.
Hey Jill, I’m so sorry you are having such a rough day today. Hugs!! I haven’t read ur profile yet, I will in a min, u seem very sad I just want you to know your avm can cause symptoms. I can’t say which are from avm, stress, depression. I am sure all 3 mix together and make you very tired. Do not be discouraged if this neuro says your pain isn’t from your avm. I have had 2 tell me this and initially, I was numb and thought I was going insane. After a lil pity party I have come to realize that these doctors are not 100% and if you’re seeing a Dr not a spec on avms then you may be more knowledge on the subject than the Dr. Don’t let it discourage you, Jill. You can do this! God does not allow us to be put thru more than what we can handle. When it feels like you can’t take it anymore, turn to God, lean on friends and family, Come here to vent 
we understand how u feel. I hope u get some relief soon
Thank you. I did join the frontal lobe group you suggested. It is just so frustrating. I also, after gamma knife, have issues with my mastoid bone. I am so worried about my job.
Hi, Jill - I'm terribly sorry you've seen regression in this area. I lost my job already bc there's timeline for when I'll be able to work again, but I consider myself cognitively intact, although I totally have lots of "Floppy" brain moments. A couple of suggestions: (1)Talk with HR - they need to know that you are seeing changes in your cognitive functions; You have had a major neurological event - for the sake of your job health lets just assume for now that this is AVM-related. In addition to informing the HR people that you have noticed a decline in performance, you will want to tell them what you're doing about it. (2) I use lumosity.com - my Speech Therapist told me about it. I've since been discharged from Speech and Vision Therapy, but the brain-teasers have been helpful. In vision, for instance, the computer would keep score for me and I developed strategies to help me win the game. Your job is not a game, of course, but the development of strategies changed the way I use my brain and it's what I need now.
Perhaps you could suggest that you have a check-in with your manager - (s)he is the other person besides HR who should be informed about this. For your own sake you want a process that has been documented and shows your proactive approach to this problem. If I were working I would SO be in the same boat. Hang in there! www.annninglearninghow.com
PS. It's good that you're going to the Neurologist. Perhaps you could insist on Neuropsych evaluation? I have been tested twice - and it's nice bc I got a report with the results and they were all measurable (the tests are industry-standard, I think), and my Doc had to put in writing whether or not I could work etc.
Thank you Ann
I just dont think people take it seriously because I dont have a giant scar they can see. It is frustrating. I have been logging all my issues so I can go over with Neuro. Like today I cant see my perifial vision in my left eye. Just silly things like that. And a constant "on and off" pain in head where AVM is. Never to bad but still there. I talk with my Boss all the time. He is great and understanding. But, I still need to be able to do my job. I am having a good day today (its Friday so....)
Thanks for your writing. If you thing of anything else please post back
xoxo
Jill
Hi, Jill, I'm sorry to hear about the problems you've been having. I took a look at your profile but haven't read all of your posts. I know you've mentioned vision problems previously, but have you had the problem with peripheral vision on the left side before? Is it any better today? I'm not an MD so I can't give you medical advice, but I am a PhD researcher who studies visual problems people have because of strokes, AVMs, and other neurological problems. If the peripheral vision symptom is new and hasn't improved, I'd suggest getting it checked out before your Aug neuro appointment, just to be safe.
Hang in there; recovering and adjusting after AVM treatment can take a long time.
You are so on top of this, Jill, in that you're documenting everything to tell your Neurologist. I agree with Mike, though, and think you should get checked out ASAP since you had a significant vision change.
A rehab doctor told me once that I should be very wary of any acute onset vision changes. I did get checked out right away and it turned out to be nothing, but just to be safe...
Hi Jill, you are definitely not crazy, I have these problems as well! Hang in there and be sure to talk to your dr about these things when you go. its scary when these things happen, I still haven't gotten used to them.
Your not the only one Jill, I seen to suffer the same problems too.
Sorry Jill for your issues... I am about 9 years post AVM rupture. I lost my peripheral vision in both of my eyes, that's why I can't drive anymore. Life goes on and you must adapt to what your life is like now.
I Hope for your continued progress!