Hi - If you get stares from others because of a visible disability (and the other obviously didn't get the memo that staring is rude), how do you deal with it internally (AKA what's the recording in your head) as a response to this?
I have to say I had my first experience with this earlier this week when my son and I went out to eat. I was appalled by the looks. I always hated when people would stare before. But when I realized they were staring at MY SON it flew all over me. Mainly because I could not protect his emotions and I knew if it bothered me it had to bother him. I unfortunately don't have anything to offer because I know I didn't handle the situation well. I even got short with one of the women who stood in our way and was laughing because I took it personally. I am a red head and holding my tongue or temper have never been strong suits of mine. I do however realize this is not proper and have to handle my reactions to those I cannot change differently.
How does the recording your head play?
Hi AJ's mom - I've had various past recordings/responses in the past from stares, but I'm looking to move beyond the status quo. Some of my past "recordings" have been:
A) Doushe-bag.
B) Poor dousche-bag - I feel sorry that you're so limited in your definition of me.
C) "What a Wonderful World" even with limited and uneducated opinions
D) Get educated, buddy.
There are many more, but I'll spare you the novel-version and just give you the cliff notes.
The stares.....Grrrrr!
As if we don't already have enough on our plates...*sigh*
I'd have to say what especially gets to me are kids staring while their parents are seemingly oblivious.
The recordings in my head are more like julie's, though maybe not as 'nice'! lol ;)
It is a sad affair, but you can't control how others act. You CAN control how you react and feel in these situations. Notice I didn't say it was EASY..............
In a non-verbal way, these dolts should be able to see how much you love your child/spouse/whoever, and how much they love you. Hopefully, it will dawn on them that you share unconditional love, most likely at a level they will seldom experience.
As for kids, when our son had seizures in grade thru high school, most of the other kids were decent to him. They see a lot of different things at school, so to most of them, someone with seizures was just another small thing. A few kids made fun of him or were inappropriate, but he just tried to ignore them. His true friends knew and understood, seizures or no seizures.
Hope this helps.
Ron, KS