The AVM life a new path in life

I would like to open a Discussion on life with an AVM

I have been in the automotive service since I was 18 years old. My back ground is with Ferrari and BMW working at the largest and highest volume dealers.My plans in life had been to get married build an outstanding career and be the best at what ever I set out to do in life. Life was working well for me. I pushed hard and worked at life the best I knew how.

Life had it's owen path that it layed out beyond my control all in one acronym.

A.V.M.

That littel acronym rocked my world after a car wreak. My wife of 7 years left me in the ER. Gamma knife and loads of super pain full headackes.

My AVM shook alot of things in my life. The AVM being found can rock you to the core of life and can feel like it's a death sentence at first. Having an AVM helped me look at life.

My AVM changed my life path. I have a new out look on life and it is a better one. Don't get me wrong here I have some realy hard days. But having to deal with an AVM now for the past 6 years I would like to instill some hope out here. It is a new start on life.

I have meet some grate people because my life's new path and found deeper friendships. I got married in Aug 2008 to the most wounderfull woman. I'm medical retired witch lets me ride out my bad days but also lets me get out on my good days and help others in life. My AVM has let me understand others that are disabled or have disabliatys.

You can look at an AVM as a new life path, new chance or challange, or a second chance

I would like for every one else to share how having an AVM has help change thier lifes in good ways.

I think so many of us experience some of these feelings. When I had my stroke 2 1/2 years ago I was working full time, was deadbeat tired all the time and was trying to still be a mom. After this event I am now unable to work, which is kind of a blessing. I’d always wanted to be home for my girls and do more with them and now I have that chance. Life was a struggle financially for a long time until I finally got my Social Security disability benefits. I don’t take one single thing for granted, ever. I say “I love you” a 1000 times a day, it seems, to my husband and my children. I don’t get angry as easily and if I do it usually doesn’t last long. I try not to “sweat the small stuff” and just let things be. I have much more compassion for others with disabilities. You truly don’t know until you’ve bee there. I’m much calmer, more at peace with my life because it’s pretty darn good now!

Had my AVM & crainiotomy 5 years ago. If anything, I appreciate my husband & children that much more:) Good Luck to you…hang in there both good and bad days…we all have them!

Yes I agree that little 3 letters AVM has a tremendous effect on one’s life! I first became knowledgable @ AVM in 1995, and there was hardly any info concerning this issue. I was in the middle of Nursing school when I “got sick” and I did not want to quit school, my neurosurgeon thoght it was a good idea to continue school also, so I was able to write thesis papers on the effects of AVM on both the physical and mental aspects of one’s life. Wow! I sure learned a lot. Most of the outcomes that I read about were grim, but I think I used this to my advantage as I also did with my own experience with AVM. I was able to implemnt what I had learned in my Nursing training to caring for myself. Believe me this experience has slowed my roll in life and enabled me to look at life different. I also take NOTHING for granted, I find myself ending each day being grateful for what I have. I truly have a wonderful husband who has been there with me thru thick and thin, over the past few years we have lost three of our immediate family members who were very supportive of us during that really awful time, and we miss them greatly evey day. Everyone who is dealing with an AVM know that GOD is with you every step of the way! I know if not for Him I would not be here.

Daniel,

Thanks for sharing what must have been very difficult for you. I have recently been left by my boyfriend of nearly 6 years because I simply can’t keep up with normal daily activities and housework and such. Said he needs someone that he can do things with. I suffer from a number of neurological problems but the most difficult and painful one is hyperacusis which not only limits my activities it also drains me of what little energy I have.

So, here I am, almost 44, and having to look out at life as a single, non-documented, disabled person. Not too bright of an outlook but I am trying to keep positive and I am trying to look past the pain.

Thanks so much for your inspirational words.

Kim

Oh my God…this was the biggest blessing o me and so many think i am crazy for saying it but if you allow yourself to open up to the intense learning from our challenges…my life is so much beter. I have formed new relationships with others, have seen the goodness of so many, made me a more ocmpassionate nurse as I am now not just a caregiver but also a patient. I just posted a discussion myself so enjoy what I have leanred. It is my second chance and I savor each and every day as it is a gift from God. I recently had surgery my fourht embo and it humbled me again but this time I went to the beach and recouperated and felt a peace within . I am not saying the road has been easy but each and every hurdle taught me something new… but always in the psitive direction…I would not allow negativity to enter as its way too heavy. My mom always taught me that in life there are always others who have it more challenging or less challenging so this has always kept me in the middle, humbled and this AVM journey has reinforced it. I could not have been on this journey without the friendship and love from this site and I pray each and every day for all of us…we all get it and this is become an extended family to me. I have found an inner peace like never before…never give up on your faith…God is always with you…when you cry He is too but he will place pepole and istuations in your life to learn and grow from…never anything bad in life…just new expreiences to grow in His love and faith…

God bless,
Mare

That really bites a big one! If someone was that shallow and self-centered then you did NOT need him around to bring you down anyway. You CAN make it without him! I know how difficult it is to keep up daily must-do things in life. Simple stuff like housecleaning, cooking, groceryshopping, etc. I was raised understanding WOMAN’s Work vrs. Men’s Work so I automatically try to achieve my best effort to fufill my duty in life. When I can’t do this correctly or fully, I become very aggrivated. I have been ververyveryvery blessed with a superwonderful husband of 28years. He has stuck with me thru thick and thin and he changed his life with me and really for me when I became ill. He even stopped working to stay with me 24-7 and care for me. Hopefully you will meet someone like this in your life. Godspeed!

Kim Palmer said:

Daniel,

Thanks for sharing what must have been very difficult for you. I have recently been left by my boyfriend of nearly 6 years because I simply can’t keep up with normal daily activities and housework and such. Said he needs someone that he can do things with. I suffer from a number of neurological problems but the most difficult and painful one is hyperacusis which not only limits my activities it also drains me of what little energy I have.

So, here I am, almost 44, and having to look out at life as a single, non-documented, disabled person. Not too bright of an outlook but I am trying to keep positive and I am trying to look past the pain.

Thanks so much for your inspirational words.

Kim

Carol,

Thanks for your uplifting words. Yes, I too hope to find someone someday that is there for the long haul. If it happens, great, but I’m not holding out for it. Once you get to a certain age there isn’t much a new realtionship can lean on to hold it through the tough times. No history has been made that helps bind one to another in deep, committed love. If one is sickly that’s no fun for the other. I am doing my best to accept that. Maybe it would have been different if we had shared a time together when I was younger and could rebound faster and with a better outcome.

Kim

Before the AVM I was in a really bad relationship and really did not appreciate myself enough. The relationship took a toll on my happiness and therefore on my kids. Since the AVM I have been more appreciative of life and value everyday. I ended that relationship and am with someone else who is absolutely wonderful. I am happier. I am a better mother to my kids. I appreciate every second I have with my family. I have a totally different perspective on life. before the AVM, I was young, extremely healthy (so I thought) and took a lot of things for granted. I feel a lot wiser for what I have gone through. I wish I could have gone through it without the constant headaches I get now, but even those are not so bad cuz I am alive. (and hopefully…we find out on Tuesday after my angiogram…AVM-free!)

Mary Kate,

I hope you get that wonderful news!!

Kim

What an incredible message to remember throughout the week.

Take care,

Debbie

Some times a door close in life realy fast and our foot gets smashed. If you just stay at the closed door in pain that is all you have. Now if just kick that door in and move on in life or just roll on to the next door it’s a lot better then just standing in front of a closed door.

Hope it all goes well.

Daniel,

That is the best advice I’ve heard in a long time! Thank you.

Kim

Daniel A Sadler said:

Some times a door close in life realy fast and our foot gets smashed. If you just stay at the closed door in pain that is all you have. Now if just kick that door in and move on in life or just roll on to the next door it’s a lot better then just standing in front of a closed door.

Daniel,
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I agree that my AVM has shown me a different path in my life; a path I’d never have imagined for myself. But many blessing have and will come out of this. I pray you continue to have a positive outlook on life and continue to be positive and blessed.
Jessica

Kim, Your story sounds very familiar. I guess you never really know someone.
I hope things work out for you.

Kim Palmer said:

Daniel,
Thanks for sharing what must have been very difficult for you. I have recently been left by my boyfriend of nearly 6 years because I simply can’t keep up with normal daily activities and housework and such. Said he needs someone that he can do things with. I suffer from a number of neurological problems but the most difficult and painful one is hyperacusis which not only limits my activities it also drains me of what little energy I have.

So, here I am, almost 44, and having to look out at life as a single, non-documented, disabled person. Not too bright of an outlook but I am trying to keep positive and I am trying to look past the pain.

Thanks so much for your inspirational words.

Kim