The nurses were gonna get me- my psychotic episode on roids

I'll tell this story to you fine folks because 1) you're special people and you'll understand and 2)in case you ever have a decadron episode of your own you'll know you're not alone!!
It was May 1999 and I was using one arm, my right one, the hand I used all my life decided to stop working. Thanks to my stupid avm, the other stopped working about a month before. I was in college and had proton radiation the year before. Things were looking really really bad, I was preparing for the worst, including death. I was 90lbs heavier from steriods for swelling and hadn't slept in a month. I found all sorts of things to do all night, paint the bathroom, eat rice crackers, clean, and eat more. My rental was never so clean. I was also about to close escrow on my first house. The doctors wanted to wait for my avm to shrink some more, but it was do or die. I went to school and had finals that day. Went to one, then had a grand mal in the hall on the way to the next. I went to the hospital and for a couple days was in a coma. My doctor were in northern California and we were in southern Cali. I was taken by lifeflight to Stanford. I was still not awake. They were going to check me out to see what to do. I was dying with swelling and necrosis. They decide to operate, and succeed in keeping me alive. Unfortunately I wake up nuts and they were not able to get the rest of the avm, only the dead tissue. My better half Doug was at my side, when he'd go back to his room at night I wouild call crying, scared that the nurses were going to kill me and I couldn't be alone, I managed to yank out my catheter several times thinking somehow that was going to be the way they'd bring me to my demise. I screamed and yelled and they strapped my arms down. I guess they have a video! Thankfully the doctors told my better half that it was the high decadron dose that I had been on for months. I was there a few more weeks, and God bless the nurses who put up with me, whoever they are. Eventually the crazy thoughts went away. When I got home, we were in our first home. I didn't have to pack, so there's something!

About a week after I was in the hospital after my surgery I started to see things. I saw a dark angel over a mans bed, a neon sign above a nurses aids head, I saw a man outside my window that looked like he had armor made of tin on and I also saw my children. One time I woke up in another area of the hospital and I freaked out. It looked like a basement at someones grandmas house. At this point I am so scared I am crying and telling the people there they needed to take me back to the hospital. I called my sister and she tried to calm me down, but she couldn’t. After I was off the phone with her I called 911. I honestly thought these people were trying to hurt me. They cops kept telling me they couldn’t help me because I was at the hospital. It was the scariest feeling ever! My sister was on her way to the hospital and when she got there she had my oldest son with her. He is only 11 so she snuck him in and there was this wave of calm that just took me over. All but one of my other hallucinations stopped. I kept seeing my littlest son and thought he was everywhere. My sister brought him to the hospital and asked person after person that they need to let me see him. They finally let him come into my room and again this calm just over took me and I didn’t see him anymore after that.