They won't let me drive anymore :(

Last nite my ex announced he was not letting me drive my kids to school anymore or letting me drive period, apparently there was a ‘family meeting’ that I was left out of and they all decided it was too risky after I passed out yesterday from a really bad headache.
Part of me knows its probably for the best, but another part of me knows I would NEVER endanger the lives of my kids, I ALWAYS feel my seizures and stuff coming on and would pull over. I am a very independent person, now I am going to need rides to doctors appointments etc. I am just destroyed as this is taking over my whole life. Does anyone ever feel like that and how can I get some power back again at least over my own life?

Hi Jo
If he called the meeting then yeah I agree with Liam that Mr Bigshot should put his money where his mouth is and drive you to your appointments - and the rest of the family can share the duties to.
But maybe its for the best till you’ve had your treatment as maybe 1 time you’ll not get that warning
I was in middle of driving lessons when had bleed and have stopped as no longer have power in right side to hold wheel when changing gears etc etc its a pain but i’m determined to get back on that horse
Check it out with yu doctors once you have decided on treatment cousre and they will be able to give you time frame, take care

Like I said, part of me knows its for the best, but I have sat here crying for over an hour because its my EX that made the decision, and I don’t like my independence being taken away over something thats not my fault, I feel like I am being punished you know? I hate this stupid thing in my head and I wish they would just take it out already!!!


Has any medicine helped you at all? When I was a Kid they put me on tegrotol and my seizures grand mal were like once a year or once every 2 years… I had small ones about every week. Now I am on Lamictal and I have ben driving since I was 18. I had to grand mals since I was 18. Luckly my DR said those were torcher induced because both were when I was having blood work done, and they could not find a vain on both arms and hit a nerve that sent me into a sezure. So I did not have to stop driving…

Are you on any medication? Does it help? The most i ever have now is I see stars ever once and a while float around… Have you discussed this option with your doctor?

i’m taking Neurontin and Zonegran, its been increased twice, it’s just not helping :frowning:

Talk to your dr about Lamictal… Not that many side effects as most drugs.

If I could not drive my wife said she would have to stop working to drive me… I dont think that is necissary. I think it is best to stop driveing of you are actively haveing sezures though… I dont know what I would do if I killed some one because of my disroder. I dont like that they went behind your back though. That is just wrong… I am glad you are not married to him any more he sounds like a jerk to do that… I hope he did not leave you because of you AVM… I found out yesterday my wife knew of my disorder before my sister set me up with her. I was surprised she still wanted to go out with me…

Hi, Jo. As much as it sucks to give up some of your independence, it’s probably for the best that you stop driving for awhile. My doctors made me stop driving when I had my grand mal seizure back in December. I’ve been seizure-free since then (I take a low dose of Keppra each day), but my surgeon says it will be another month or two before I should try driving again. My husband has been chauffeuring me everywhere for months, which is a big hassle for him, but we’ve gotten through it. I don’t remember any auras from my seizures and was terrified of killing myself or someone else while driving, so I’ve just been trying not to go out as much.

I know what you mean, Jo. My husband has also banned me from driving because of the meds as well as the AVM dangers. Sometimes I feel like a tiger locked in a cage, since I was always so independent before this. I hate having to ask for rides all the time!

If it makes you feel any better,i was told i couldnt drive after i had my first seizure,then was told i wasnt to drive at all untill the AVM was fully removed and i was deemed medically fit/safe enough to drive again,so i went around 19months not being able to drive.
Finally 3months after my surgery i was told by my neurologist i was allowed to drive again.
So as of the 19th of febuary this year i finally got to step foot back into my car and behind the wheel.
As some of the others have said,it probably for the best not only for you but for the safety of your children and for other road users.
Do you think you could live with yourself if you had a seizure or hemmorage at the wheel of your car and seriously injured someone or cause a fatality?
Sezures dont always give warning that they are about to occur,well mine didnt!
I know its gunna be hard for you to lose that priviledege for a little while but its probably for the best Jo,
I hope you dont think im taking sides with your ex or anything,im just trying to be realistic,hope you understand.
Take care, Theo :slight_smile:

This ex is even getting on MY nerves. I think it is very patronizing and inappropriate for him and others to behave like they have a right to pass down these edicts on you! I also think it would be wise to let them know that while you value their opinions, you are not a vegetable, and do not need them making decisions for you. Your doctor is the person you should talk to about driving. I know that finding a doctor and getting an appointment has been an issue for you, but you and your doctor are in the best positions to make decisions about your health and capacity to do things like drive. It sounds like the ex is being VERY controlling, and is being disrespectful to you by trying to cut you out of discussions about your own health. If you feel like you are safe to drive, and your doctor does too, by all means drive. My gut instinct is that the ex would like nothing better than to make you dependent on him for rides, so that he can act put out, or tell you ‘no’ because he doesn’t think you should go somewhere, or because he is busy. It’s not a “family” meeting when people are excluded! Perhaps you can suggest to him a compromise: since he feels he is in a position to impose medical opinions on you, and doesn’t want you to drive–even though you have not heard this from any doctor–tell him you would be willing to allow a professional, hired driver to take you where you need to go until you meet with your neurologist for an official opinion, as long as he pays for it. Tell him that you need someone there around the clock, though, so you are not inconvienienced. Tell him if he agrees, then you will humor him.

I am not suggesting that you should drive if you really are not safe behind the wheel, but I am offended by the way that this was dictated to you. I would imagine that there is a reason why he is an “ex,” and that you probably don’t want to be spending all your time riding around with him. If I lived near you, I would drive you :slight_smile:

I want you all to know, INITIALLY I was upset about the driving, but to me, driving meant freedom, so I am not upset at all about the driving anymore at all, in fact, I dont think I should drive, the seizures are too bad and I would not want to endanger anyone. What upsets me most is the decision was made behind my back rather than sitting down and talking to me, as are ALL the decisions nowadays it seems and it pisses me off. They just dont want to upset me blah blah blah, well they upset me worse going behind my back. I feel like an invalid with no control over my own life and its a miserable feeling :frowning: