The last year has been an up hill battle and because of everything that has happened I have lost some of my friend, but it has made me realize who my real friends are. As hard as it might have been I have accepted it and know that I don't want them in my life if they aren't true friends. Now even the people I thought were my true friends have moved on with their lives and apparently I'm not apart of their life plan. What am I supposed to do now, alone, with no one to talk to during the hardest time of my life?
Erin, you always got us.............
I would encourage you to partake of any outside activities that you enjoy doing and are able to. Most people are decent, and want to be friends. If you are religious, maybe hang out at church. Or sports, hang out at rec centers. I'm sure you have much to offer.
Not always a fun journey, but pls try to enjoy the journey as much as you can.
Ron, KS
Hello Erin, Yes, you have us!! I thank God every day for this wonderful site....it is my life-line as I also lost 'friends' and also 'lost' my husband after my surgery as he couldn't cope with my brain injury. I am making new friends now and I go to church every week and have met some lovely people there. I am not religious, but I have a strong faith which helps me so much. Also, I have started going to Tai Chai and meeting even more people. Not easy to do, I know, but slowly, slowly, life is getting better. All the very best wishes to you!
These AVMs change our lives in so many ways. I agree that you should join and attend things that will help you meet people. Clubs, church events, and simillar. Do the things you like to do. We are here for sure. If you are around in the mornings seberal people chat while listening to my radio show and we would love you to jon us.
I told two close friends expecting to be consoled just a little and nothing. I have a friend here that stays on me all the time and there are always people here to talk to. Probably the conflict with your friends is that they are scared and can't deal with you. Quite selfish. I have decided to just keep most people out of this as they can't help me anyway.
You are very young. Don't rely on college aged friends for support with this problem. Keep the faith that you will be fine.
Hi Erin,
I'm going to second and triple what the others have said. They are all right and have offered very good advice. Sadly, it's when tragedy strikes that we do learn who our true friends are. I also lost a very dear friend through my journey of this. Her reason was - she never wanted to see me in bad shape and she was scared to death that I wouldn't be around any more. Even though I never fully understood her way of thinking on it, I respected her decision. It's how it goes sometimes. I'm a full believer that everything happens for a reason. We just don't always know what that reason is. As time progresses, we can usualy figure it out.
Sometimes, we need to find peace within ourselves first. Then we will find the happiness that we are looking for. Sorry if I sound phylisophical but, I spend to much time meditating... LOL
Erin,
Althouugh everyone's situation is different, I feel like you and I are similar. I have chosen along with my parents not to share the news of my AVM with any of my friends and family. The only ones who know about it are myself, my parents, and my doctors- not even my siblings, grandparents, or closest of friends have the slightest inkling as to what I have been going through. Although I may plenty of friends, since none of them know about my difficult situation, at times I feel completely alone.
But then I think of my family. Family will always be there for you, through thick and thin. No matter what, they are always there to support and give to you. Most importantly: they LOVE you! And that is forever. So while you're friends may not be as available as you would like them to be, use this opportunity to develop a stronger bond with your family, as this will prove to be most valuable throughout life.
Thinking of you...
-Birdie
"Friends" can be quite superficial! I would say family will always be the most importantly thing in life, and if u have a group family, brill.
Hi Erin. While it may seem like it…you are never alone. God is watching over you as well as those of us on this site. What do you do? You move forward! I have no doubts that wonderful and great things will happen in your life!!!
Hey Erin,
Yeah I'm so with you on this one. Especially when friends are going to college and partying and stuff and just leave you behind. Or people stop asking since they think it happened such a long time ago, but what they don't see is that we are still struggling ! Ugh. lol. I dont know if this is how you feel but I am with you on this one girl. But I guess we have to remember we have got all of the people on here right ?
You're in my prayers!
Kim
Kim,
It seems like we have alot in common with the things we are going through and how we are feeling. Surprisingly today my "best friend" sat down with me and talked to me about how she knows that she hasnt been a good friend and that it took her to long to realize it and she wants to change things back to how they were
Hi I’m Jen Lynn.i had spinal avm stroke when I was 23. I lost every single friend I had the day I stroked. 13 years later… Still no friends here … But online I have found u and so many others!!! Please contact me. I’m finally back online. Much love from ur friend super jen
That is so sad. If I put myself in the shoes of a young person or college student, what I feel is that maturity is still behind independence. They are bursting out into new lives while some of us represent a rude contrast to that picture. There is nothing they can do for you but pity lip service. I don't want any part of that and after two people turned their backs on me, I empathize and know not to judge anyone for feeling that way. So you lose a dozen 'friends' but remember there are 10 million potential friends out there you have not met. For me, it would be best to dwell on the things I can do and find new interests. Time swap out the bungee jumping club for extreme wonderful health cookbook.
Erin: First let me say I am sorry you are going through this...unfortunately some is fear and not knowing what to say...but I know the hurt...been there myself.... I lost several "good" friends but throughthe journey met some amazing new ones! This site is so cathartic also.... I tryto find the "good" out of a "not so good situation" and my advice to you is don't waste energy, especially now when your not feeling 100% of trying to figure people out....God will open new doors and relationships....He did for me and some of my best friends and experiences came out of this journey....If you ever need to chat let me know but join groups, good for a walk in the park on a beautiful day and you will meet and speak to many....God bless and will keep you in prayer along this journey! Your family will always be there with unconditional love but again, don't waste time and energy look for opportunities to meet new friends....real friends are the ones who love you through the challenges just not the "parties of life"..... Chat soon! xoxo Mare