Why me ? what did I do to deserve this?

Hi everyone my name is richie. I live in pennsylvania now for 4 years and grew up on long Island before that. I suffered an AVM in late april this year. to be honest I just about remember calling 911 and telling them of my condition. after that I remember very little about my hospital stay of 2 months. they said Im very lucky to be here now and had 5-6 operations and infections. I recieved plenty of prayers from everyone. Im very grateful to be alive the lord had his chance to take me , but did not.I also have emotions and questions about what happened to me.I have noticed I`ve become very emotional since this all happened to me. I cry easy now !! never did before. thanks for reading my little story and hope to talk to you all in the future.

Richie,
I find that crying helps me feel better and its so easy to share your emotions here with us because we know how your feeling. Before surgery I was not as emotional but now if someone gives me a mean look I can just about cry. Our brains are very tricky and things that would not have bothered us before effect us now and we cant understand why. I know I can speak for everyone else here that we are glad you found this website and I hope we can bring some kind of comfort to you. Sometimes family just isn’t enough…at least that is what I found. WE need to connect with people that have had the same experiences in order to know that we are not alone with our suffering. WE need to know that there is someone else out there that knows our pain and frustration and can actually empathize with us… I hope my little post here makes sense…it can be hard for me to speak what is on my mind. lol. Let me know if you have anything you want information on or questions. I have had that question before…“God why me…I just got married now this?” And I honestly am so happy because i know that my husband will be here for me no matter what happens in our lives. Its so rare these days to be able to find someone that loves in in sickness and health. lol…ok…talk to you soon
:slight_smile:

Brittany said:

Richie,
I find that crying helps me feel better and its so easy to share your emotions here with us because we know how your feeling. Before surgery I was not as emotional but now if someone gives me a mean look I can just about cry. Our brains are very tricky and things that would not have bothered us before effect us now and we cant understand why. I know I can speak for everyone else here that we are glad you found this website and I hope we can bring some kind of comfort to you. Sometimes family just isn’t enough…at least that is what I found. WE need to connect with people that have had the same experiences in order to know that we are not alone with our suffering. WE need to know that there is someone else out there that knows our pain and frustration and can actually empathize with us… I hope my little post here makes sense…it can be hard for me to speak what is on my mind. lol. Let me know if you have anything you want information on or questions. I have had that question before…“God why me…I just got married now this?” And I honestly am so happy because i know that my husband will be here for me no matter what happens in our lives. Its so rare these days to be able to find someone that loves in in sickness and health. lol…ok…talk to you soon

:slight_smile:

thanks brittney very well said ! god bless all of us !! and he has I guess

hI rICHIE
I find myself crying for the least wee stupid thing or i might go totally mad at some stupid wee thing. I feel like i’m on an emotional rollercoaster, think we all are. Just more crap we have to deal with. Take Care Amanda

Hi Richie,

Hang in there. I think a lot of us ask why me at first. I didn’t have a serious problem until this year, but I am taking it day-to-day and seeing what the year brings. You’re still here and that’s a great sign.

If you have questions I’ll be glad to answer them, but in my experience, everyone on this network has been happy to answer anyone’s quesions. Everyone is a great help. There is also a great movie called: Life. Support. Music. It is about someone (who is part of this network) who has gone through the AVM experience.

Good luck

thanks mike, my wife and I are gonna look into renting that movie.

Hi Richie,I can say we have all been at a point of crying and so many emotions funning wild,you have been through so much and are here to talk about it,that my friend is a true blessing and gift,I hope every day from this point on brings nothing but happiness and love and all the tomorrows are counted as a blessing,you are not alone here,and we love to share our concerns,dont be scared to post anything ok:) we are all friends and we care very much,talk soon,Caroline

Hi Richie, I also became very emotional and also very sensible to other people problems. In my case the avm occurred to my son, maybe that make things even worse. From the very begining, even before knowing the problem was an avm, we were told my son had a big mass in his brain, me and my husband waited for four hours for the neuro to come. I am very glad we never did that question: why us?

I remember telling my husband: a lot of people are suffering in the world why not us? We are not different or special or better.

I believe, everything happens for a good reason, God would never treat enyone of us differently.
Of course we don´t know the reason and the explanation is beyond our understanding sometimes.

The best thing to do is accept and be glad in one way or another.

Hi Richie

There is nothing wrong with crying. And you didn’t do anything to deserve this…none of us did. You have been through so much and I hope that you are doing better now.

Dianne

hi richie, i hope you are doing well. i understand about the crying. i am a tough girl and had an avm removed in 2004 at 28yrs old. as the time has gone by my recovery was been ok. i look like myself again, that to others seems fine, great infact although these people, as careing and loving as they are they forget!!! i am “back to normal” on the outside but not one the inside. i cry alot too. my husband is supportive but “forgets”. i just cry when i need to and i have learnt that ITS OK. NOW WHEN I CRY I WILL THINK OF YOU.

regards
margaret