1) How to avoid unnecessary stress? 2) What is "unnecessary" stress?

Let’s face it, it’s a cruel world quite often! For us, it’s almost impossible to stay away from some people, get out of dangers, bills(D’OH! grrrrrRRR), unfortunate responsibilities!

Keeping a straight attitude, positive, and mentally, emotionally and spiritually focussed is the best bet. At the same time, can you lie to yourself? These are reality checks, and you don’t want to crawl under a rock.

???..clear communication skills?!? Quite honestly…I’m looking for answers myself!

(help meeeeeeeeeeeeeee…)

To me unnecessary stress is stress caused by things you cannot control. Other's attitudes, the economy, the weather...I suppose you can't avoid it all entirely but I really, honestly never stress! Having had this little near death expeience put everything nicely into perspective for me. There is just no point in stressing about things that are beyond your control. Do the best that you can with things that you can and don't fret about the others. Whatever will be will be. Maybe I'm making it a little too simplistic but to me it really is that simple.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks Trish! There's a lot to be said for trying to stay as positive as possible and avoiding unecessary stress at all costs. But I like how you put it better. :) Hope you're feeling well.

Ummm...to try and answer your topic question, I'm not sure that unnecessary stress exists. If it was unnecessary, we probably wouldn't do it.

Here's something that might help in the short-term:

10 Things to Do If You’re Stuck in a Rut

http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/Healthy-Living/10-Things-to-Do-If-Y...

1. be gentle and go easy on yourself - slow down and consider the wisdom of "go easy on yourself" - breathe a sigh of relief by extending a deadline or moving back to-do items.

2. allow or schedule a regular 10-15 minute cry - it has some health benefits plus you're bound to release the frustration someway, and if not "scheduled", usually at a time that's not beneficial to you.

3. stay focused, phrase your self-talk motivation in simple terms, and take baby-steps / break a huge responsibility into bite-size chunks - for example, “In the next half hour, you have to construct three simple sentences.”

4. help someone - whether it's tricking yourself that you have your stuff together or something else, getting your mind off what you're trying to do can help take off the serious edge. "...if we see our pain as part of the collective pain of human suffering, we have each other and are in it together" (http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/Healthy-Living/10-Things-to-Do-If-Y...)

5. Have and contemplate your symbol of hope - "...it’s so easy to sink into despair and sadness and hopelessness. But if you have something small in front of you—for me, it’s rose petals—that signifies hope, then you can always make that jump from darkness to light...": http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/Healthy-Living/10-Things-to-Do-If-Y...

6. Repeat your mantras - especially in situations where stress is prevalent. Tell yourself, “You are okay,” and “You are loved by a higher power.” http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/Healthy-Living/10-Things-to-Do-If-Y...

7. Although counter-intuitive, surround yourself with people. - "Unfortunately, isolation never helps you feel better. I have conducted studies in my own life...When you force yourself into a circle of people there is a slight chance of your forgetting how miserable you feel. Not guaranteed. But possible." http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/Healthy-Living/10-Things-to-Do-If-Y...

8. pray - "...like a placebo, having trust in some benevolent deity is going to be beneficial even if there isn’t a benevolent deity...It goes back to hope—the golden rope out of the pit of despair. If we can keep a grip on that rope, we can never fall too far back." http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/Healthy-Living/10-Things-to-Do-If-Y...

9. Remember victories of past and present - this is bound to make you reflect on past achievements and make you realize that you can do this.

10. say the serenity prayer - when all else fails...ask your higher power for the strength to accept the things you can’t control; ask for the courage to change the things you can: i.e. surrounding yourself with people when you want to shut out the world for a year; and, finally, ask for the wisdom to know the difference.

Can you tell that I did my best not to swear - I missed my calling to be a sailor =)

I think that is key - I'm not all Serenity Prayer and stuff, but I think that it's important to know if you can do anything about it - if you can, do it.

I'm clearing out some stuff and came across this...might help:

To banish or help banish fear:
-look at the outcome through rose-colored glasses
-instead of seeing the worst-case scenario (which creates fear), look at the best-case scenario to deal with change as a challenge.
-brainstorm your rewards if you manage the change successfully

Hope this helps!