I've been meaning to write on this blog. I feel like I have abandoned it in someways.
Here is why,
This blog was for me, to ask for help, to get some emotions down, to have people say "they understand". And it helped me through some of the darkest times.
I want to learn to write again, for the pure enjoyment of it. And this isn't the place for that. So I have steered away for awhile.
But, I also feel like everyone deserves an update and that the people that are struggling so hard and working so hard to get better deserve to hear about the progresses.
Life is still hard. We still push through every single day. But it is SO MUCH easier and better than before.
Scott is walking with a cane now. He even made it up the stairs to the front door a couple times last week. He is doing all his personal grooming and such on his own also. Just needing some "spotting" while walking with the cane. I could let him just use the walker and then I could take a break from helping so much, but I will be happy to put that walker in the basement in the "yard sale" pile.
We still use the wheelchair when I know we are going to be going a long distance. Mostly because Scott gets so exhausted. He still has extreme fatigue, but with exercise and acupuncture and rest, it is really getting better.
Memory...
Memory is still hit and miss. But if the past few weeks of improvement show us anything, its that Scott's memory is healing right along with his physical body. It seems to be directly related to his exhaustion. In the mornings, Scotts memory is dead on. Through out the day depending on naps and therapy, it gets foggy.
We have tried different medications for the exhaustion. Tried going without any medication for awhile, also. I think we have the right mix of herbs, vitamins and prescriptions now. I have started noticing more and more improvements with focus, energy and just Scott being "Scott".
I have started writing down every single day what I am thankful for. They have all been directly related to Scott and his improvements. I want to look back, just like I have with the blog, and see where we were, and where we have gone.
Me,
Im tired. Probably more tired than I have ever been in my life. (besides maybe that first week of having newborns). I miss a lot of our old life. We never sat very long, always on the go, always finding new things to try or places to go.
I sometimes feel left out of the world. Like everyone is going on with out us. Which, I guess in away they are. I sometimes just wish that our friends still invited us to do things, even though we probably wouldn't be able to make it. I know it isn't meant to be hurtful, but an invitation to the rest of the world would be nice.
So for now, we have therapy 3 days a week. Speech, Physical and Occupational. Acupuncture and Chiropractic one day a week. Leaving us 3 days off. I do my best at home to get Scott to do more rehab while we are here. But I must admit, Im a sucker for the man I love. He gets away with a lot more than I should allow. Still, everyday there are so many improvements. I even had him help with dishes this morning.
Here is what I am thankful for today,
Scott and I are sitting in our living room together, talking about this blog. He is thankful that I wrote it all down. He wants to know more and more about everything that happened, and how bad it really was.
Scott is going to help me make some of his famous bean dip in awhile, so he has a snack while watching the Lions in the playoffs.
He keeps telling me today that I need to say "I love you" like I mean it and I keep reminding him I am coming down with a cold.
Its a simple day on Oak st with My Scott.
I am so incredibly lucky,
And tomorrow WILL be an even better day.