Today is an emotional day for me.
Scott has his stomach/feeding tube removed this afternoon.
He is excited, and so am I. We haven't had to use it in awhile. But have kept it as a precautionary thing because he did have such serious dysphasia for so long.
The emotions stem from so many parts of it.
"hope" The day it was decided he needed it, Scott was not doing very well. The doctors were not giving me very optimistic news. No one was talking about the future anymore. Until the intervention radiologist came in to tell me it was a successful procedure and said "I can't wait until the day I can remove that". That single sentence gave me hope again. And I will be sure to tell him that today when we see him.
"dispair"A week after that, I was told that I could make the decision to stop feeding him. He would survive without all the other medical interventions, but maybe it was time to let him go...I refused.
"anger"In the rehab center, the stomach tube was removed at bedside (which they told me was routine) because it was clogged. It was traumatic and painful and ended up causing a serious infection that put Scott back in the hospital.
"frustration"In the hospital it was always a learning curve for nurses coming on shift of when he was to be fed and how much and exactly what he should be getting.
"anticipation"It was a long process of Scott getting his swallow strong enough to go back to regular foods. And it took an even longer time for him to drink enough fluids daily, so the tube had to stay for fluids only.
"scared" I was always worried about infection. Especially after we came home. The body just doesn't like having foreign objects in it. I have been on constant daily pins and needles making sure it was clean and dry and thankfully we never had any problems.
"excitement" Im excited for him, because he HATES it. Im excited for more treatments with our chiropractor and masseuse because he will be more comfortable laying on his stomach. Im excited that the doctors were WRONG and he is getting it removed but only because he has recovered enough to have it done.
Send a little love, prayer, positive thought our way today.
It's going to be a great day.
And tomorrow will be even better.