Hi Deb,
Not sure where you are USA? But in Canada you sign a waver for a angiogram in case you die during the procedure . I am surprised that they even did the embolization at his age. let sleeping dogs lie.
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They never explained the risks to us. I donât think we would have gone through with it if we knew the risks. The bleeding had stopped and was already beginning to dissipate.
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I am in California. Yes his family helped him sign a waiver. They now have power of attorney over him because he cannot speak. Well he has spoken several words but with difficulty.
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Your father raised a wonderful caring woman in my opinion!
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Thank you Barbara. I do not feel so wonderful right now because I havenât been able to find the doctor with the magical pill to make him better. Yes, I know that is probably a very childish thing to say but it seems like one day you look at your parents hands and see old age creeping in. My parents went through a very bittter divorce when I was young and as a way for my mother to punish my father, she made sure he had very harsh restrictions set on his visitations. Through it all, my father was always there to give me the love and support I needed. Funny how the song my father used to play for me when I was sad, âDonât Worry, Be Happyâ by Bobby McFerrin has become the one I belt out now when he gets quiet and thinks he is such a burden on my family. I am grateful for the time my children have with him. Its been an added stressor on my older two girls who are struggling with OCD, Asbergers, and anxiety but, my younger ones see another person to play Gator Golf with or to help them make a ball out of a can of play doh. I hope they are learning that you take care of the people you love. I had to resign from my position as PTO president at school and those people I volunteered with for 10 years now donât even say hello when they walk by me. I cry at the littlest things. Its like a little cocoon where my family exists in and of itself. I canât understand how people can go on with their lives like nothing happend or how you can simply state that your father is dead to you because he knew he wouldnât be able to navigate the terrain at your house and wanted to wait until he was more secure in his walking skills before getting out for a visit. I canât even imagine how my father feels knowing his kids arenât calling him. No wonder he always worries he is going to be on the streets alone. If I were to decide I couldnât handle it anymore he would be alone in a nursing home. Needless to say, I donât feel very strong right now but this is where I need to be .I am so glad I stumbled on this ssupport group page because I have learned more in the last few days than I have been able to learn since June. Thank you for your kind words.
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Since I am new to this site and avmâs I cannot weigh in on the advantage or disadvantage of another angio. I just wanted to tell you that I feel that whatever decision you make will be the correct one because it so obviously will be made out of love for your Dad.
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Michelle,
Good, good luck to the future of your father's health and your well being!
Is there a way that you can find a 2nd or 3rd doctor opinion ASAP, so they can see, from their different eyes, a different direction? It was just odd that your 1st doctor told you that the proceeder will be only a few days. How in the world would he just 'assume' that, with such a risky area and risky surgery?
It is just my opinion, but from what I read in your message your doctor seemed like it would be no problem, yet you are talking about an AVM by the BRAINSTEM? To ME, even I could say that that is a very risky area.
Dr. Robert Spetzler in Phoenix, Arizona did my very large AVM in 1990. Back then, he was one of the best in AVM surgeries.
Wish you all the best.
Lisa A. Stuckel
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Sad reality here is the doctors cannot say how long your recovery will be , I was told " oh you will be back at work in 2 months. It took me 2 years to recover Sure you are taking a risk not having the surgery you are also taking a risk having the surgery itâs a dice throw. But I think your fathers age should have been a huge factor in not doing surgery.
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Hi Lisa.
This doctor was very sure of himself. He even went so far as to show us the whole procedure on the computer before and after and made sure that he stressed the fact that âheâ saved my father. The neurologists couldnât figure out why my father was seeing things unside down after the surgery and did neuro checks, MRI and CT scans almost daily to see if there was a problem. We had an attorney review the case and his expert said that the Interventionalist did what he was supposed to and my dad was a good candidate for the embolization. I guess its good to know that the doctor didnât make a mistake but it would have been very helpful to know that this outcome was a possibility.
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Thank you <3
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Wow. You have a lot of serious insight into this and made me really think. I know the doctor did the best he could. Its probably best to just move forward now instead of looking back because that would not help the situation at all. I spoke to my sisters and we have agreed to just continue to monitor his health the least aggressive way possible. I am lucky to be able to have this time with him and will try to use it to my best abilities. I work the night shift and still have a three year old home with me so even if I didnât have my father with me, I would still not be able to sleep. Its been that way for years and I am pretty accustomed to it. I did try therapy for myself but it takes up more time than I have to give. Thanks for your insight. I found it very helpful
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So, so sorry of what you have to deal with, Michelle, but THANK GOD that YOU and your family are so strong by staying by his side! Your other siblings are, someday, going to PAY for what they did NOT do for him. SURE it is hard to deal with these types of situations, but it is WORSE to not deal with it at all. You will receive rewards someday for what you are doing for your father.
You MUST get a 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) opinion, in my eyes, because your 1st doctor must have done something wrong maybe? HE would not admit that, but other doctors could see more clearly of what happened, and I can not say that any other doctor could do anything worse than what already has been done to him! I could be wrong, but that is how I feel about your issue.
Good luck, and my God be with your father, you and your family!!!
Lisa A. Stuckel
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