Anger issues

Support Parents and Care Givers of AVM Patients
1

Just have a question have a son that had a AVM. It has been three years now, he did lose some of his sight, he still gets tired, needs naps. Question i have is that when he gets tired and around family or friends he can get a very sharp tounge to everyone, does anyone deal with this and if so how have you handled this? Thank you…

2

How old is your on and where was his AVM? There is links between location, if in the brain, and some behavioural matters. Of course it is fairly complicated but some pretty good research and means to manage and limit are available.

I did a google search on “brain injury and behaviour” and found many dealing with changes post injury. Sorry I couldn’t be more help. Take Care, John.

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Thanks John, he is 30yrs old, and AVM was at the back side of his
skull.

4

Could be a number of things most likely, Quality of naps, Medication, nutrition is important as is vitamin B12 & D to maintain good nervous system function. I cannot stress this enough! Trying to keep up with more than a few speaking at a time in one room maybe?
His Neurologist can help.
I hope some of this helps

5

Thanks Jeremiah, I will check with my son on what medications and
vitamins, i do appreciate suggestions, anything to help him out.

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You are so welcome my friend. We are all here to help.
Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

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@xman was it by chance was his AVM in basal ganglia?

8

Thanks Angela4, could not find anything on his AVM on basal
ganglia.

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9

When I get tired, I get the same way.

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10

I’m finding something similar - (brief back story - AVM was diagnosed when in 7th grade 41 years ago) - still dealing with cognitive issues, memory, recall, understanding when someone is talking too fast - and then the headaches, voice issues, ear issues… (But enough about that)

I’m finding that when I am tired - either because of life, because of the side effects of my AVM or… - I find myself doing two things - 1) Getting depressed. Not seriously suicidal depressed but just feeling really down, really like I have no future. Or 2) I find myself getting angry and frustrated with the people who are closest to me. Like this morning after church when my dear wife (insert any good attributes and they would fit) was talking about something on the way home from church. I couldn’t understand it because, well, brain processing speed… I found myself getting rather upset. Fortunately, my brain has learned to talk to itself (maybe that’s the noise in my head ) and basically says, “Tom, shut your W$#^$%^ mouth - you know that’s not what they meant, so don’t take it personally.” I then just get really quiet and a couple of hours, a meal and a nap and we’re back.

As the saying goes, “Your mileage may vary” but yes, anger is a definite part of this - anger based on brain bleed issues etc, cognitive TBI issues, that is all very real. The other part is a grief anger. There’s a lot of things that I can’t do that I probably won’t be able to do ever. That makes me sad and on some days it makes me angry.

Talk any time, thanks for being here,

TJ

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11

Thanks for sharing, very helpful. Do you think it is wrong to
share this with my son, or am i crossing the line bringing this
up.

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Thanks for sharing, helps me understand my son better at times.
Is it wrong to talk to him about my concerns or is this crossing
the line? Thanks…

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Well, your mileage may vary, but two thoughts about whether to share it with your son:

  1. He’s 30 years old - I’d been married and had 3 kids by then (I can hear it now, TJ, WTF?) :slight_smile: He should be a member on here himself. To me, the question is not should it be shared with him, but how and who.

  2. I have 5 kids, 3 of them are on their own, the 17 and 18 year old are not yet. Both of them were adopted out of the Haitian orphanage system (calling it a system gives it too much credit.) They both have baggage from that. Not going to say more because it’s their story, not mine. One of the many things that they have taught us is the wisdom required to know who should say what and when. I might know what’s wrong with my 17 yr old’s math paper, but she doesn’t want me to help. My 18 year old might struggle with talking to me about some things that he will talk to my wife about (and the other way around). So it’s a question of examining the who and the how - who would he listen to best? And how would it best come across?

You know, here’s an idea (I always cringe when my brother says that) - what if you told him about the group and encouraged him to join and then start gradually sharing things that you find helpful and eventually a little ways down the road, bring this up. But then I wonder - would he be upset if he knew you were talking about him with people elsewhere?

Not sure if that helped or if I just rambled myself in a great big circle but here I’m back. Let me know if I can help further.

TJ

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14

Thank you. aleast it makes me think about things i could do or
try,

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15

The first thing I would do is google drug interactions and put all his meds in there. Find out how they interact with each other. I had the tired part, then I found out I have celiacs, I went gluten free and things changed for the better. Good luck.

16

I can relate to the anger issues and sometimes the stuff that comes out of my mouth my head says where the hec did that come from. My doctor prescriber urbanol (which is for epilepsy and anxiety disorders which I say makes me sleep better and calms me down. The anger issues has reduce significantly since started on these meds as the others was too strong and would put me out for 2 days. I take it at night so makes me get a good nights rest and function better the rest of the day. All the best with your son!

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My son had craniectomy after a bleeding AVM in the left side, involving basal ganglia. He recovered well considering the severity but he gets very angry with me, no matters what I say. A stroke might change people’s personality. I think it is useful to allow for plenty of rest and eating proper food. And lots of patience from family. All the best with your son.

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18

Thank you for info…

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Thank you for your support and information.

20

In my opinion, I think your son has anger issues, not FROM the AVM, but BECAUSE he has an AVM. When I was dealing w/my LARGE AVM back in the 1980’s, I never had ‘anger issues’. I just dealt w/it, put it into a ‘back burner’ so I could continue w/my life & career in my 20’s. Help your son look into his many options that you can, & hope you will find a direction to go for his FUTURE! After over a decade that I knew I had what I had, I looked & searched for a neurosurgeon to help me get my problem more manager. I got my AVM fixed extremely well in 1990 w/ surgery. God be with you all for the best answer!!!