Has anyone had any problems with PTSD symptoms? I had my craniotomy 16 mo ago (R parietal lobe) and it was successful. I had one seizure 8 days post-op and have been Lamictal since then. After the first 6 months, I started to feel like myself again, but now I feel lost. I’m irritable at the slightest thing and I’ve lost the ability (or want) to play with my 3 yr old son. I just want to be alone in my house, quiet, without noise and distraction so I can think. I rarely call my friends anymore, it’s just too tiring and I have nightmares as well as “day-mares”. A cranial-sacral therapist I’ve been seeing (scar tissue, immune system, etc) suggested I look for a therapist to help me with what sounds like PTSD. My mother and other people say I’m “not the same person” they remember. But, how could you be the same person when you’ve faced a life-threatening situation? This changes you forever. I’m still grieving the loss of my innocence and have nightmares about what could’ve happened. I feel numb most of the time and just ‘existing’, but not sad and hopeless. Any thoughts?
You are not alone.Believe me.
Sounds like depression, you need some help
therapy or medication.
you must fight your way back to who you were
Before you are still there. Think of your brain as
One big filing cabinet. All of your memories,
Information, knowledge, wisdom is still there.
Only now instead of going right to that information
In seconds, you have to go upstairs turn left
Then go right. It is all still there, it takes a while
For the brain the synapses to re-connect.
After my surgery I used to talk on the phone
With friends then hand the phone to my husband
And walk away. I did this for months, my husband
Was left to deal with my exiting the conversation.
Then one day, it just came out , I said i’m getting
Tired now and would like to go. Such a simply
Statement … Right … Even harder to try and
Explain if you don’t know what you are trying to
Say. But I could finally express myself.
Hi Gillian,
I’ve dealt with depression before, which is why I didn’t think it could be the same thing. Four months after surgery, my son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and needed immense amounts of time and energy for early intervention. I had to put myself on hold while I worked with him and my husband was traveling for work months on end. He says I’ve never had the chance to “fall apart” last year and now that life has settled down (husband is home and son is doing immensely better), I’m falling apart. Apparently I’m using pronouns wrong (you, he, she, etc) in conversation. How could this be? My AVM was in the motor strip and I did have weakness in my left hand, but OT has helped that too. I used to care about accomplishing things, I was very goal oriented, and now I’m a hollow version of my former self. It sucks because I don’t have much to contribute to conversation and when out with friends, its an even bigger effort to block out noise and stimulation from bars/restaurants. I’m having my first therapy session on Monday and hope it goes well. Thanks for the support.
Hi Karen,
Therapy sounds like a good idea; when you’re dealing with rare stressors like you have, I think the ability of friends and family to help you through can be limited. I hope your therapist is knowledgeable and empathetic, but if you happen not to “click,” remember that you can try another and have a totally different experience.
About pronouns: my husband’s AVM left him with assorted issues like pronoun confusion that no one can explain, so it could be an AVM effect. On the other hand, while recovering from a serious physical problem, I also had a lot of trouble with language–as I recovered, I realized that it correlated with exhaustion. Language-related parts of my brain were just closing up shop when I got too tired, even though my problem was purely lower-extremity. So don’t rule out pure and simple exhaustion as a cause of some of the issues.
Good luck on Monday!
J
Karen,
I can tell you that an AVM changes everything – for you and your family. I find myself looking at other families and wishing I could have their quiet, naive lives. Instead, I have a 9-year-old who’s had three craniotomies in 2 1/2 years. I have a 12-year-old who says I never give her attention. I have an 18-year-old who’s just decided it’s easier not to be home. My 9-year-old even says she never gets “regular time” with me.
LIving through an AVM is life-changing, absolutely. A therapist is a great person to talk to who will be understanding and not judgmental. Most of those who’ve struggled through AVMs have found that their group of friends even changes. That’s the case for my daughter as well.
Hang in there, best wishes!!!
Hi Karen! This note is a bit old, so my first question is, "How are you doing?" Are you still having the same difficulties you wrote about in August? I have been going through individual counseling for an unrelated event and discovered some PTSD issues of my own. I'll try to remember to run this by my therapist on Friday. He is really good and might have a suggestion. Keep up on your sleep, exercise, and diet. Perhaps it has already passed, or perhaps you could use a little "couch time." Either way, there are good things ahead for you.
Fire Buddy
Hi Karen,
I also had a AVM on the motor strip .
It took me 2 years to really recovery, but I did.
I am back at work , running my own company
and I employ 8 people. But the recovery process
was long and at times scary. Allow yourself the time
It will get better. Don’t give up.
Karen,
Add my name to the PTSD list. I have terrible PTSD - flashbacks of my seizures, being in the hospital, etc. I can even see an ambulance without getting teary-eyed and scared. Lots of things set it off. I saw a therapist for my symptoms, and she said no wonder I have PTSD after everything I have been through with my AVM and craniotomy in July last year. What really helped me was talking about it. I am 9 mos. post-cranio now, and my symptoms are much better than they were a few mos ago, but they're most definitely still there. I haven't taken meds specifically for PTSD, but I have been on anti-depressants for many years for depression and anxiety, and my PCP did up the dosage, which seems to have helped. I think its just something we all have to go through, and you just have to deal with each situation as it happens and work through it. It sucks, I know, and I feel for you. Just remember you're not alone in feeling this way, and try to draw some strength from knowing we're here dealing with the same things. Take care, hang in there, and keep working through it all. We're all here pulling for each other.
Rest will really help, too. I have a bad habit of being really hard on myself, and asking too much of myself, then being really disappointed if I can't overcome something right away. Take care of yourself, and give your mind and body the rest it needs after such a traumatic experience. Oh, and cry when you need to. I cry alot. Almost every day. It does release stress, and puts things in perspective as I work through my issues with recovery. Like I said, hang in there.