Hi - Now that the major "love" holidays are in the past, it's probably a good time on focusing on getting a life...more like a love-life.
Not that I'm totally gung-ho on this idea, I feel that I have to do it. Does anyone have tips on cyber-dating and real-life dating?
I don't have any tips...but go for it, girl!
My aunt has had great success with match.com. I've been married so damn long I wouldn't even know what to do on a date! Good luck girlie!
Good luck Julie! You're a braver girl than me! I gave up already! The way I feel now, my time is all about me and my recovery, there is no room for anyone else in that equation. I do admit, from time to time I concern myself with the notion, am I destined to spend the rest of my life alone? I have met a few men post-bleed, none of whom are prepared to take all "this" on! So good luck to you, don't mind me if I decide instead to sit on the sidelines and Cheer you on!
cheers(the other kind),
Nicole
That's probably my biggest fear. I feel that guys who can't handle that aspect of me is not strong enough or equipped for what I need...easier written than done. =)
Hi Julie! YOU are a beautiful woman on the inside and out, and AVM or no AVM, any single man would find their treasure in YOU so I say do what you feel you have to do and enjoy every single moment of it without thinking about your condition too much. This is part of us and even when we are AVM-FREE, this is and will always be part of who we are :)!
/Michele
Hi Julie,
Dating... While I can't address those still married (not to name names ;) Many of us were too busy chasing relationships (ok, I'm talking about me here) pre-AVM to notice much. But you bring up a good point especially since no one wants to be alone. I would love to point you in the right direction (and probably not get paid to endorse dating sites) but I don't feel qualified to do that.
Plus I have an added dimension that more than complicates matters. Yes, I was married to man and have a daughter by him but now divorced. Why? Because I came out as being gay about 15 years ago. Along with the after effects of the AVM, dating is quite a challenge to say the least. :)
Suzy why should that exclude you from dating? One of the happiest relationships I know of is one with 2 of my dear friends (both women). And...good for you for coming out!
Ok, now that I actually got asked out on a date I'm Really worried! For 2 years, I was blissfully standing in the corner! Now I got asked for an April date! I am So worried! I hate my weight gain! My Limbic system is Not on-line! And apparently collateral damage has left me unable to *close the deal* Maybe not a concern for my date?? Not sure what Lobe manages such activity any- how? Not a topic I felt free to discuss with my Neuro! My apologies if this is Way Too much information! Mr. Munoz has assured me that my AVM-friends are not judgmental!!! I haven't been on a 1st date in almost 20 years! Well I have until April to pull my act together!
cheers,
nicole
Your weight gain doesn't appear to have bothered your date, else you wouldn't be having one, no? As far as "closing the deal"...it's a date...baby steps. And I'm completely and utterly free of judgement!
Lets see. As soon as I woke up from my final craniotomy, the first thing on my mind was just that. I am free from the time bomb in my head after 6 years of hiding from it and I wanted more than anything to kick start the love life. I ended up with one of my friends exes (I know, not very bro of me) who I had been mutual friends with. It was a coupling formed slowly from previous encounters and chatting on FB during recovery. Had a good time and we still talk, but I didn't know she was going to re-arrange my cabinets, plan week long road trips all over the US and various other CRRRRazy things that I can't handle while I don't have work as an optional outlet. So, moral of the story: it's not too difficult to find something if you just act on what you want, but finding the right/not crazy one might be more difficult but doable with the right motivation, I'm still working on that one...
Nah, it's not the gay thing that's hard (but it is a smaller population) but it's just that I used to focus so much on relationships that I lost track of other things. It'll happen but I'll just stop forcing it. :) The whole straight marriage thing kind of skewed my perspective ya know?...lol But at the potential of offending others... I try not to mention it.
Hi Julie,
I really wish I had some poignant advice but I don't. Since I've been single for 10 years, never been married, and have no children; I'm the least qualified to give dating advice; but since my diagnosis in April of 2011 I have wondered what dating would be like. Since you posed the question it got me to thinking; how do I in good conscious start a relationship with a beautiful woman without telling her I have a ticking time bomb in my head? And exactly how would I do that?
I'm in full support of you getting back into the swing of things. The AVM community can always use ambassador's like yourself and others interacting with the Non-AVM community; please keep us posted on your progress.
Leo
I kinda did ok for dating when i was a kid, but when i had my second bleed and lost the power of speech, yeah dating wasnt really worth while for a while. But after finally going for it, my speech was reasonably good enough to keep a half decent conversation going, i did a lot of dating, real life from web agency types. And one day i met my super wife! So yes, i would go for it. I had some hit and miss's before i met someone i really cared for, and it took me many years to give me the courage to do it all, but was well worth the while! :)
I totally agree and was a little more than shocked when I emailed my "True Hollywood Confession" to a guy that "I met" on match about my AVM-life - and he didn't seem to mind. I'm trying to move through the whole low self-esteem thing, but I think that I need some tips from the veterans.