Lately I have been feeling really depressed about different things like what I have restrictions on.Sometimes I get so depressed about not being allowed to play baseball that I have suicidal thoughts.My mom has suggested counselling.Does anybody have any ideas about what I can do?
Hi PT Cruzer. I am sorry you are depressed and like your mother, I think you should seek help. No one should have to suffer with depression because there are solutions to make you feel better. Whether it be talking to somebody and or getting prescriptions to help deal with things. You could even call a suicide help line. Help is just a phone call away.
Hi PT,
It pains me to see any young person hurting. I want to try to help you to help yourself. I'm a mod here, but more importantly, I'm a Dad with two great kids. We've all had our struggles, but I cherish every day with them, as I hope you can with your family.
Let me start with my story. I worked in a pressure cooker job for a lot of years. My wife and kids knew I was changing, but I didn't realize it. Finally, stressed out to the max (my wife had been going through surgerieS for her AVM, and our son, who was 17 at the time, was getting ready for two brain surgerieS to try to stop his epileptic seizures), I finally went to a family counselor that we've know for years. It took me 3 or 4 sessions with Merve to even identify WHAT all was bothering me so much. After I finally was able to write down (FOUR PAGES) what all was depressing me, Merve said "No wonder you are anxious and depressed!" Some medication and quite a few counseling sessions later, I was feeling much better.
Our son obviously had a lot of the same feelings of depression that you are experiencing. Being a teenager that's "different", and added to that any limitations you have, and it is easy to understand your depression.
I would highly encourage you to seek competent counseling for your depression. What you are facing now is not an easy road.
Maybe I didn't understand, but who ruled out baseball for you? Our son's one favorite sport was high school football. Having seizures in HS, we were scared to death of what might happen. The Drs told him that if he thought he could play, they thought the risk was acceptable. So we worked out an agreement with him: We agreed to let him play football (he was an offensive lineman) UNTIL he had his first concussion, then no argument from he, he would voluntarily quit the team. Fortunately, he never had a concussion, and he lettered in football two years.
Maybe I'm just blessed, but my wife's AVM is GONE, and our son has been seizure free for 6 or so years, since the surgeries. And I'm more in control of my depression. Depression is not (in my mind) something that you 'get over'. If you have it once, it really can hang around forever--you have to just learn to manage it.
PT, I am concerned about you. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, talk with your Mom if you can about your depression and/or counseling. If you don't feel right talking to her, call your pastor, or your school counselor, or an adult friend.
Life is a precious gift and in spite of what you have been through, and might still go through, life is worth living. At your age, medical advance will be HUGE by the time you get to my age (60). As an example, when my wife's AVM showed up over 20 years ago, her Drs said "Go home and learn to live with a ticking time bomb in your head. There is no treatment option for you, due to size and location." (Nice bedside manner, huh?) Fast forward to 10 yrs ago, the DRs said they could fix it, and THEY DID! She is AVM free.
Please keep us in the loop of how you are doing. Give your Mom a hug too--she probably needs it.
God Bless,
Ron, KS
PTCruzer, Please know that everyone is here to help you and support you. Whether we are AVM survivors or parents or husbands and wives, brothers and sisters we've all felt the stress and depression you're feeling. You can get through this, but you do need help. I would recommend letting your doctor know how you're feeling. When I had an episode of depression a few years ago, it helped me to understand that depression is a lot of times a product of a chemical change. That helped me a lot when the doctor wanted me to start medications. I thought I was weak to need medication, but when I looked at this way I felt like it wasn't my fault to feel so bad. I took them for a while I went for counseling. The two things together made a huge difference for me. I also learned that the more I would sit and think the worse I would feel. Being busy is a huge help to not focus on it too much. Try to find things to keep busy with.
Are you not every allowed to play baseball or is this short term? Our family is a total sports family and my 10 year old son was told he can't play football for four years and another doctor said never. It was so hard to accept that, but then we realized how many other things he could do we learned to live with it. His AVM ruptured right at the beginning of baseball season. He had surgery and got to watch a couple of games afterward. Both of my kids play football, baseball and basketball. We LOVE baseball! What position do you play?
Always keeping talking to your mom and anyone else you trust about how you're feeling. Will you be going back to school soon? If so talk with someone at school. It's so important to tell someone how you're feeling. Always come here to write about how you're feeling. Know that we care.
Thank-you Ron . My doctor ruled out all contact sports.My parents said that a baseball to my head could give me another bleed .So my parents are trying to play on the safe side.About the depression,I will talk to my mom about it.
Thank you,
Philip
Thank - you for the reply .I will ask my mom to seek counseling for me.My mom also said that she wouldn't want to get me medicine for something that can be fixed by counseling.
Thank-you,
Philip
Good morning,
I think there may be two things going on here, and they may be interrelated. One is depression, but the other is not being able to participate in a physical activity that has given you a lot of pleasure. I used to run, but I had to give that up because of arthritis and other issues. Running was not only a way to stay in shape, but it also helped me keep my emotions in check. Addtionally, it also gave me a group of people to interact with. I would see people at road races and developed relationships that way.
While I do believe counseling would help, it might also be good to find another sport as well. I know someone who played baseball in high school who took up tennis to help stay in shape for the baseball season. It turned out that he was so good at tennis that he went to the semi-states as an individual tennis player.
I hope you can find another sport that you find enjoyable and that you find a way out of the depression you are feeling whether it be going to counseling or talking with others.
Take care,
Debbie
Thank-you for the reply ,Brett's Mom.My mom and I have considered medicine and counseling leaning to the counseling side,though.My mom said she didn't want to take medicine for something that can be fixed by counseling. I am not allowed to play baseball temporarily.The reason is,my brain is healing from the radiation from the Gamma Knife .The positions I played were third base,second base ,catcher once,and all of outfield.I was scheduled to play pitcher on the day my brain bled.Yes I am going back to school soon it is just hard to talk to any teacher at school about it because they have no idea what i am talking about.That is why I like this website.
Thank-you,
Philip
Thank-you Aylen for the reply.I have been told that life is like a puzzle .God puts little things into our lives. You may not understand it then and you may be questioning God.But later on it all makes sense.My mom is taking me to Water Country USA tomorrow.I guess that is a fun thing I am doing to get my mind of things.
Thank-you,
Philip
Glad to hear that it's just a temporary thing that you aren't able to play baseball. Sounds like you have a lot of talent in that respect.
I also love coming to this site because this is the only place I can go whree everybady knows what I'm talking about when it comes to this medical condition.
Take care,
Debbie
Thank-you for the reply Deb C.I am definitely considering counseling.There are quite a few sports I can play such as,golf,tennis,swimming,bowling,archery,table tennis and more.So I guess
there are alot of sports I can play.
Thank-you,Philip
You're welcome.
all the best,
Debbie
I went to counseling when was a child until High School. At first I was scared and afraid, some times wouldn't tell the truth to my doctors. After a while I became use to talking with Dr. Green. I trusted him, he help me through my thoughts feeling and didn't put me on medications. I wasn't a sports jock in school, music and JROTC was a fun way of getting through school. Its hard talking with parents, I know because since my stroke I'm living at home again, talk with your parents about your feelings thoughts and about seeking counseling.
Thank-you for the reply.I will seek counseling and I have begun to talk to my parents.I also play piano and I am a Boy Scout.So that has helped me get my mind off things.
Thank-you,
Philip
Thank-you for the reply.Thank-you for the support it is nice knowing that there are other people out there.
Thank-you
Philip
Hi Philip. Many members on here suffer from depression. A good neuro-psychologist someone who specializes in traumas to the brain can be of immense help.
There are so many wonderful things to enjoy in this world. There is an old saying when God closes a door…he opens a window. I always add on to it and say you just might have to body slam the window open but it is there! So do not give up hope.
Feel free to come on this site at anytime. We have members from all over the world so usually there is always someone on here!
That's so cool that you got to play so many positions! This was going to be a big year for Brett for pitching also. It was really hard that he didn't get to play more than two games. My husband coaches and he is always telling our kids to watch games and learn from what they do on t.v. You could really be ahead of the other players if you spend some time learning about strategy. That's probably the hardest thing to teach the kids in baseball.... where to throw the ball, what pitch they use at certain times. Remember baseball is 10% physical and 90% mental. Now is a great time to get good at the mental part! Have you watched any of the Little League World Series?
Brett will be seeing the nurse at school. If you have a school nurse maybe he or she would be a good person to talk to?? What grade are you going into?
Brett and I have joked around about writing a book about "no". No running, no baseball, no football, no jumping off the couch, no junk food, no leaning over, no touching your head...I could go on and on!! I think everyone here would get it, but everyone else would think we're weird!
Thank you for the reply.I will seek counseling.Another saying that kinda goes on with that one is .When God closes one door he opens another.
Thank-you,
Philip
Hi Phillip,
Saw some news that might interest you (and others) about depression on CNN Online today. An associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Arizona in Tucson, wrote about suicide in general (and it was current about the movie director's recent suicide). I'm sure you can search and find the article, but here are some of his words that surprised me. I do agree with them, but they are still shocking to me.
"............ Severe major depression is probably the most unbearable pain a human being can withstand for any protracted period of time. Many people who died of cancer have written eloquently about how the crushing pain from their tumors paled in comparison to the pain they felt when depressed.
"With all other pain, most people can maintain some sense of separation between themselves and the pain. As horrible as it is, the pain is in their arm, or leg, or belly or head. But there is still a "them" that is separate from the misery.
"Depression is different. Because it is at its essence a perceptual disorder, it causes one to see the entire world as pain. It feels painful inside, but it also feels painful outside.
When a person is depressed, the entire world is disturbed and distressed, so there is nowhere to escape. And it is this fact that makes suicide so seductive, because it seems to offer the one available escape option.
"There are at least two reasons why suicide in response to major depression is so horrible and so tragic. First, although our treatments for depression are far from perfect, they are nonetheless effective enough to help the vast majority of depressed people feel well enough to forgo killing themselves."
Phillip, I hope that this information can help you see that there is a good future. I want you to be around a LONG, LONG TIME and lead a productive life.
Best wishes,
Ron, KS
hi ptcruzer,
i agree with your mother, go see a doctor, he can help.
you will feel better.