After reading this you will tell me to go to a neuropsychologist. Im trying so dont tell me to do that lol.
Anyway, 6 years ago I had an avm in my cerebellum. i know that this area isnt primarily known for affecting emotions but it does play a role. Anyhow, I was just wondering if people ever feel empathy after their injury. i mean yes i can see things are bad for some people and it sucks but i really feel nothing. Even on here i hear your stories and i cant feel anything.
And i also think too highly of myself. Narcissistic after avm? Well i sure am. i sound like a great person
Michelle,
Thank you for posting this comment and I can understand and relate to the emotions part. My first AVM burst in my cerebellum in May of 2011 and the 2nd AVM, also in the cerebellum, was discovered in October of 2012. I realized at about 1 year after my burst that I felt incapable of feeling! Now, before my burst I would cry easily and even at commercials but now my husband and my children can make me tear up a little but really I feel robotic at times. Yes, I will read something and think oh that is sad but honestly, I also think oh well that's life and sometimes it sucks so we just deal with it.
Now I think it's admirable that you think so highly of yourself. No, I cannot say the same for myself but good for you!
Susan T.
Hi, Michelle - Thanks for being frank about this. It's an interesting topic. My AVM was removed 100% but a large part of the cerebellum was removed, too (the craniotomy was hours after the rupture - there was no time for planning out any other course of action).
I said this topic is interesting bc 2 good friends asked me this week - don't I get annoyed when someone tells me about their (seemingly petty) problems?
I replied, Absolutely Not. This is a matter of necessity. If I do not consciously choose to feel compassionate about their situation I am left even MORE isolated than before. Having a rupture, stroke , etc. and losing my Old Life is an incredibly isolating experience. I saw and remember things no one else did. That's kind of a lonely life. So in order to participate more fully in life (and try to be a good friend) I make a real effort to "feel" for others with their "everyday" concerns. This is a change from my attitude when I was first recovering (e.g. the first year, whereas I'm now at 2.5 years). Back then I say I was "meaner" - I was like, Hey, if I can sit in this wheelchair y'all can behave better. (I'm over the chair now - I use a cane.)
I totally recognize that this is different from complete lack of empathy, or the inability to cry. Perhaps some of my emotions made it through more intact (and in a state to be cultivated) than those in other's experiences. I don't know where the line is b/w "I lack XYZ" and "I'm working on ABC so I can compensate for XYZ." So maybe what I'm saying isn't really shedding light on this. Your question just caught my eye.
I laugh easier now, and I do think there are emotional components to the cerebellum being compromised like you're saying - as others have stated, the view of the cerebellum's role seems to vary across doctors, and depending on when/where the research you're reading is from.
PS. I think too highly of myself, too - but this is leftover issue from BEFORE my bleed.
PPS. This is one of my faves re. me and my "compromised" social filter: 49. Did She Really Just Say That?
:) www.annninglearninghow.com
yeah i mean i pretty much do whatever i want. Speaking and actions. I have no filter and am overly narcissistic. I tend to do some weird things sometimes but i attribute it all to my brain nowadays