Hi
I am Kitty. I am 42 and live in the UK.
Following on from two MRI scans on my brain I have been told by my GP that I have abnormal blood vessels on my brain and that the concern is that they may burst. She has told me there is more than one. I am waiting for a neurosurgery appointment, but have been told that as I have not had a bleed I will have to wait for a routine appointment. So I have very limited information at the moment.
My symptoms are currently headaches, facial pain, dizziness, pins and needles, bain fog and I feel slightly off balance. These arenât continuous, but I find the brain fog and dizziness the hardest to cope with.
I found out 3 weeks ago and have so many different thoughts about it, I will try and put them in some sort of order.
I have cried a lot and been very scared at times. What will happen if they burst when I am alone? Will I be able to get help? What will the future hold for me and my young family.
I am also very relieved that it isnât a brain tumour, as three of my cousins have had one of these, two are now deceased - this is the reason why my GP sent me for a scan. However, my Mum and Granny had a stroke in their 60s. It is 7 years since my Mumâs stroke and I can see what an uphill battle it is for her.
Despite having a loving husband, amazing sisters and some supportive friends, I feel very alone at times. I canât keep constantly telling them âoh I feel dizzyâ or âmy brain feels quite foggyâ, I donât want to worry them and letâs face it I would be telling them every day. But life can be hard work because of the symptoms. I have quite a demanding job and just hope I donât have brain fog every time I lead an important meeting!
Overall I am trying to be positive and hope that maybe the best case scenario is that I wonât have a stroke until I am 64 like my Mum or that it wonât happen at all. Over the last few weeks I have pushed through and gone and done things when I havenât felt well, as I can feel that I will become very isolated otherwise. I am gaining strength from this as I am able to reflect back and think things were okay even though I wasnât well. However, there are dark moments, when I worry for my children and my husband. I also feel so many things have been closed off for me, How can I get a new job now? I donât feel I can move house or travel abroad. But I am determined to push these thoughts away, as today I am still alive and well!
Kitty x