I've Lost My Husband

Oh thanku angela for your encouragement. I really needed to read that today. So much appreciate your suggestions. Fortunately i drove city bus for 11 years. The kind that takes people to appt and events. Anyone that cant ride the city bus for whatever reason. Alot of my clients were older adults. I learned alot about senior services and what some of their things are to offer. When i get moved i am definately going to look into that and hopefully get some help with my house like shower, vacuuming things i have a harder time doing. I can do it but it puts me down for the rest of the day. Its so hard to know if its all normal. My dr says ive been thru so many years of stress and then the avm surgery that its going to take awhile. Im on some biodentical hormones replacements and my thyroid wasnt working too well so he said soon ill feel better from those things. I certainly do hope so… i want to join a swimming pool that does excercises for seniors with problems and there are 2 really close where i will be living. So im looking for some kind of clothing ill feel comfortable enough to do that. I do agree with you im sure most of us have suffered from PTSD thru this ordeal. Its all so fearful when u dont know whats happeneing. Brain surgery? Yikes! I already have PTSD so this just brought it up again i guess. Not sure how that works. Im supposed to be tired i guess. It makes me sleep. I have to to function. Thanku again for your wisdom. Take care of yourself. Youve been thru lots!!

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Thanku. I have always kept his abusiveness pretty down played. I felt like i let him be that way or enabled him to be that way. Im most concerned for my sons. But they seem to be making their way thru the mess. They could care less what i do with his ashes. But i want to do something with them before i move. I just dont know what. He didnt really enjoy anything. The ocean was his favorite i guess. Its hard to get my head around the fact that its over. I feel so much more relief daily. For awhile i kept thinking i was really going to get in trouble when he got home and his chair was gone or i didnt buy his favorite stuff from the store. Things like that. Being nervous cause i was crowding him in bed and reaching out to make sure i wasnt too close. Then remembering the whole bed is mine!! Yes im healing… thanku very much…:smiling_face:

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‘Sounds like you put up with it all to “keep the peace”…(except the stress of doing so was eating you up inside.) I’m happy to hear how you are finding pleasure in your new life!

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Thankyou. It feels good.

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