I guess I am just having one of those days that I seem to have every so often. My husband keeps telling me that Kennedy's avm is just part of God's plan but it sure seems like an unfair plan to me. The avm and bleed has taken away so much that she had worked so hard to accomplish at school. It is like my second grader needs to go back and start pratically over again in kindergarten. What hurts the most is she recognizes it. She has already said that her friends are going to move on to third grade and she isnt going to be able to. No one has said this she just knows that she cant do the things she used to could do. Please forgive me for rambling I am just so tired of this plan and just think it is so unfair for her. I am sure many of you feel the same way. I understand completely how you feel. Hoping tomorrow will be better!
Mom, you have every reason to Vent! Stay Strong!
Understandable how you and your child feels.
Give kids a lot of credit--at least around here, some kids have diabetes, dyslexia, some Attention Deficit, some physical/mental challenges, and the list goes on and on. Our kids in a large school were well aware of other kids with challenges.
When our son started having "zone out" seizures, he didn't like it, but even with all the social turmoil of middle school, seemed to shrug it off. He knew it took him longer to learn. His teachers and most of his friends knew he had seizures, and that he would have seizures at school. He and they all treated is just like you would treat a kid with a broken leg, or diabetes. It is what it is.
My son's true friends understood and it was no big deal. They knew he couldn't drive in high school, so he bought the gas and buddies picked him up. The few kids who made fun of him he just ignored.
He played HS football (something that scared us to death due to his seizures). We compromised--he could play with our blessing until he had ONE concussion, then no discussion, he would quit. He played four years with no issues. One of his favorite coaches (who taught him a lot about life) simply told the team "Hey if Allen starts acting goofy, bring him to the sidelines." No high drama, no deep discussion of ramifications, just a simple sentence that conveyed the message. By then, most of the team knew he had epilepsy, but no big deal.
I urge you to help your child work through this and give the child the verbal skills to deal with any issues that arise. It might be as simple when she's confronted with ignorance is smile, and say "I have a brain injury, what is your issue?" At this age, no further explanation is needed for peers.
Hope this helps.
Ron, KS
I'm sure it's very difficult for her. At her age her peers would have no way of understanding what she's going through. I really like Ron's advice though. Perhaps it would help her if she said that?
i can relate to your child, because as i was in the same situation, i had a surgery to take some AVM out but it also took some good cells (some of my memory) so i also had to start a year again , but the younger the children are the more accepting they seem to be, i know because ive been there, and i can assure you that she'll be fine! when she gets a good group of friends she'll perfectly fine!
also you ought to encourage her to make new friends, because i never got that and so it took me awhile to actually make friends..
if you need any advice you know where to find me :)
all the best :)x
A bit of philosophical discussion is about to spew forth from my fingers, just so you know. :) I don't believe it's God's plan to have bad things happen to us. They just do because of our fallen nature. Disease is part of us, unfortunately. What I do believe is that God figures out a way to incorporate those bad things into His overall plan for us. So while God didn't cause her AVM to rupture (or my son's to rupture, for that matter), He uses that and our experiences surrounding it to further His plan for us, whatever that happens to be. Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Stuff happens, but God makes good come out of them, somehow, some way.
Kelly, I like the way you put that. Thanks for sharing that with me.
krd,
While I agree that there is a larger plan in place, we may never know what it is. That’s not important though. What is more important is how we react to all of it as we go through this. Yes, AVMs are a bum deal and it’s nothing but a challenge to see any of the good in this, our challenge is not to look at all that is lost, but what was gained… Stay strong, it’s hard to watch your child go through this but your example will speak volumes. I’m sure Kennedy will appreciate it. Stay strong and vent anytime. That’s what we are here for. :J
Totally agree with Suzy.
I think that we all know - or want to believe - that faith will carry us to whatever's on the other side; but sometimes it's just good to vent...I say, vent away.
Yes. Venting is good. So is destroying an old, dilapidated statue in the backyard when things get to be too much. (That's what one mom on here did, and it really was cathartic for her!) :)
I had an AVM in my brain at 30 YOA. when i woke up from my coma. i couldn't talk it was hard for me even to communicate but as time went on my speech has gotten better, i lost a lot of my math skills i have a hard time even recognizing numbers. but thank the lord for a calculator. but every day i see a change for the better.
tomatoe/tomahtoe...screaming into or punching a pillow works, too.
also, I have to remind myself to let it go...constantly..hand over the good, the bad, the ugly, the new, and the old.