If you’ve experienced a stroke or aneurysm, you probably look the same or similar physically but act and react quite differently from an emotional, personality or intellectual standpoint. So, there you are, you may look like Jane or John Doe but you don’t think or act or respond like Jane or John Doe anymore.
How have tried to strike a balance between the new and the old? I know there are divorces and other family strains.
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Yes I for some reason mourned my oldself…crying privately then accepted my new screwed up self.and strive to get back to my old self…Had a stroke before my avm was in a coma brain damage had to learn how to walk talk do math…then the avm struck…I was like WHAT I almost died with the stroke and was hopeful to go back to work …then I said ok when I had my stroke and my organs were shutting down and I was in coma I thought I knew I was in a hospital but I would also feel like I was in Maui
So now I think heaven is what you think is the most beautiful place…I was never afraid of dying but now I am really not.
Its been almost 7 years since this health stuff happened and I still struggle everyday but I have more compassion and fight for others now.
I volunteer for my counties Aging Commission , volunteer to drive people to their appts etc and to be a patient advocate for family and friends and started a no kill cat shelter with friends. I do have to make sure I dont do too much otherwise I suffer
Not sure if you saw my post about Stem cell trials but it gives me hope soon we will be able to get this and help heal our brains!
I see a great pain neuro who has helped me and sends me to PT but now I might have an autonomic issue so waiting to get into that clinic so I can return to PT
Its hard because people look at us and we look fine even good but we feel like shit. We tend not to complain and I just try to stay busy even if its crocheting or online support groups to help others. Distraction is good for me.
I am thinking about going back in for occipital blocks they work great for me but just for 2-3 weeks but my doctor said they can do them without the steriods so maybe I can just keep getting them so I can get some big stuff done.
Dont feel bad for feeling bad we have all been through hell and back and are lucky to be alive.
Hugs
Angela
hugs
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Although none of us would choose to go down the AVM path, all these new experiences are for our good. Hopefully, like Angela above, we develop more empathy for others and shift our focus outward. We begin to appreciate the gift of life. We also allow others to serve us, which is a very difficult thing. We all want to be independent, yet we are interdependent. That being said, many of these challenges do cause stress in relationships.
Upon occasion, I’ve asked, “Why me?” from a victim perspective. However, when I empower myself and ask, “Why me?” from a learning perspective, I recognize the compensatory blessings that come via adversity.
I’ve appreciated the support I witness on this site as we provide support to each other. I wish you all well in your individual journeys.
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I dived into college which I had been attending at the time. I missed the last two weeks of my first semester but my marks were good enough they let me through. My second semester I had vision and balance problems from the bleed but covering one eye and working really hard and really diving into it didn’t give me time to think about it.
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I thank you all for responding but I think I may not have explained myself properly. There are the superficial aspects of ourself, as in looking the same. What if you woke up from your brain injury realizing you prefer golf to fishing, Chinese food rather than Italian, not being able to share the same room with someone who was previously your best friend or you’re not in love with your significant other.
Not deciding to get your degree but a total change in your academic interests. A total change in personality. An episode of Star Trek Voyager, “Riddles”, helped me frame the question I how I really meant it. Not mourning your old self but not even remembering who you were, whether in whole or in part.
I’m not the same man who went into the coma as who came out, from a personality perspective. Okay, fishing is still important to me but a fear of heights, no longer exists in me.
How did your personality and intellectual self change? It’s not something you may not be able to tell but your circle of friends and family may have noticed right away or slowly.
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I haven’t had a rupture but I’ve been haunted by weird symptoms.I have days where I have short term memory loss, I can’t read or write, follow a conversation or movie.Those days are a blur and I end up walking around my house a lot just feeling confused. it feels scary because I can feel myself slipping away, my emotional threshold disappears and I loose my inhibitions. My other symptoms flare up during these “bad days” so I’ll also be struggling with my left side numbness and weakness so I struggle to walk etc. Then as quickly as it comes on it goes away and I’m “my new normal” and back to cycling and having conversations.
My brother who has had a Traumatic Brain Injury recently has had a huge personality shift. It’s hard to know how the meds he takes affects him. He is very emotional, goes from being jolly and repetitive to depressed and crying. He lacks inhibition and can be very inappropriate. It’s really strange when I look at him it’s him, but it’s not. The distortion to his face after surgery is obvious but it’s the look in his eyes that really stand out.The thing is though is that he doesn’t seem to have any awareness surrounding his personality changes. I guess I’ve convinced myself that since my symptoms come and go and I recognize them that I won’t slip into a different personality. I also feel like I need to trust my journey and let go of the things I can’t change. If friends and family don’t love me anymore because of something I have no control over, so be it, others will.