Well, I haven’t been on here for a while. My fiancé hasn’t had a seizure for 3 weeks now, but I can tell one is coming. It’s strange how I know he’s going to get one, I feel it actually. I can tell by the way he acts, the pressure and the pain he feels in his head. His moods are off and erratic. I have gone ahead with our wedding plans. On august 24 th 2012 we are having our big fat Indian wedding! Everyday I worry if he’ll be okay for the week long festivities.
I am concerned about his health everyday. But love us getting us through. Because of the size and location of his avm there is no “cure”. His neurologist basically told us that his avm is too large and that there is too much good brain master around it to do surgery. His avm is buried deep in his right cerebellum. When the doctor looked at us and told us that we would just have to “live with it” I was saddened. Right now I am the only one that works, a modest high school teachers salary. I own my home and try my best to keep things afloat. I am the only one who drives now and I find myself very tired from all the work I have to do now. But, I look at him and think, " my live us strong and I can do this"! I think God put me here for this. I will be strong. I can help him. And medicine may nor help us in any way, but I know live will.
Hi Sandeep - Well, your fiance definitely needs your support right now; however, I can't help but wonder if that you guys were already married when finding out this news, would your official vows of "for better or for worse" even apply? I guess I'm asking you a tough question - past the ring, the gold, the honeymooon, and the wedding gifts, (assuming that this isn't an arranged marriage) is this just a test to see if you're willing to stick with him through thick and thin?
This experience definitely won't be anything to compare to other marriages, and marriage as well as an AVM is a marathon - not a sprint...I can tell you this - to continue with the analogy - you will want to wear supportive shoes and layer your workout clothes.
Ultimately, the choice is yours, obviously. Maybe it would be helpful to get a married person's perspective on this.
Congrats! I say this because of the wedding and because you are about to embark on one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed. I myself, am a caregiver to a woman with an AVM much like your soon to be husband's. There is no "cure" for hers either. It's in the same spot as his as well. It's a great deal of work. It becomes your life. It is your life. His needs will far outweigh your own. If you truly love him, and I am not doubting your love, then you can do this. It will bring much pain, heartache, and suffering. It will also bring more peace and love than you will ever believe. It will bring light into the darkness of this world. If you can serve him on this trip, it will help to show the world that love and true marriage is not dead. That the heart still holds weight over all other things. God chose me for the caregiver of my wife. I have little doubt he did different for you guys. It's an honor to be proud of. When you need to cry, cry. When you need to laugh, laugh. Take each day as a great blessing, and show this world how much you love your man through your actions. I live it day to day, as do most here on this site. I will pray for your marriage, and his condition. Always here to talk if you want. Just let me know. :)
Matt
Thank you Matt for your support! I finally have time today to be online...and yes, our wedding was beautiful!!!! I met my husband when I was 16 in high school. He was the star football player,and I the bookworm. We reconnected when I was 20 and 13 years later we tied the knot! We were always "married" but our wedding was a symbol of how much we love each other. I know I was chosen to help him...sometimes its very hard, but i know he would have done the same for me.
well, not much time for me on here....i have marking to do, lesson plans, dinner...you know the drill. and thank you. i will definitely try to be here more often, i know the forums and discussions and support always help me. Again, thank you!
Best wedding ever!!!!! no health issues...smiles and LOVE all around....sorry for all my spelling errors in the above discussion....sticky keys on keyboard, just feeling rushing out at that time onto the computer screen. one love!!!
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What a beautiful pic!
Thank you Barbara! That was from our Photo booth at the reception....everyone had so much fun! The ladies next to me are my best friends who were there from day one! They would drive him to doctors appointments when i HAD to work, always there for support! We have been blessed with beautiful, loving people in our lives!