Not healing fast enough...........?

My dear friends,
I just came back from a visit to a family gathering. I became so depressed feeling that low self esteem thing! Seems like family and friends think I should be farther ahead in my healing process than I am? I was told that I have no joy in my eyes. Well if my left eye would stop twitching and my head stop hurting maybe I could find the joy and light hearted me again! Have any of you found that you needed to surround yourself with new people who didn’t know you before your surgery? I just felt really out of place and confused because I thought I was doing great!Is it me? I just feel way out of place with those I am close to. I’m not the same person as before surgery, but I have really tried to be better.Any words of wisdom or similar feelings?

Thank you so much Beth,
I feel so all alone until I come to this site. To real friends who do under stand. thanks again
Sending Angel light and love…d

I feel much more comfortable talking with people outside of my family about this stuff. I get the impression that because I don’t like to talk about it with my husband, that he thinks I am okay. I am not okay at all. What you have been through was more traumatic to your body, and I am sure that has a deep emotional impact, too. It takes a long time to recover from these things. No one else is in a better position to judge whether you are doing great than you are. If you felt like you were doing great, than you ARE doing great. That doesn’t just stop because someone else says something dumb. I really think people don’t know what to say. They feel awkward and obligated to say something all at the same time–so they just say whatever. They can’t even imagine the magnitude of what you have been through, they can’t comprehend it because they haven’t been there themselves. They see you, and see that you are on your feet, out and about, so they wonder why you are not 100% back to where you were before all this happened. The joy will return. It really will. Pain makes it hard to feel much past pain, but it will fade. Don’t let other people’s words take anything away from the amazing accomplishments and strides you have made. You are probably making it look too easy :wink: Maybe next time put your arm in a sling or smthing so they have a point of reference they can understand. Sending hugs.

Oh Marilyn,
You always make me feel so much better. You are a true friend!
Sending Angel light and love…d

I gotta agree with Marilyn on this one… I havent dealt with the ‘after’ part yet as I havent had my surgery yet, but only YOU know how much you have improved by how you feel. Dont listen to them, they are just looking for something to say. You’re doing great from what I can tell :slight_smile:

I do know what you mean. I think I’m doing pretty darn good considering and my hubby says I’m a mess! lol

That’s what’s so wonderful about our AVM family, Donna! We can say exactly what we’re feeling and there is always someone who understands exactly how you feel!

Marilyn, you got this right…you said it the best…Nothing like people telling you how you should feel, when your the one who know’s yourself…Keep your head up and never let anyone tell you how you should feel…You feel just like you want…and guess what it’s ok

Thank you! I wonder if life will change forever. oh well, all things happen for a reason they say.
Sending angel light and love…d

My family neve mention it much they just ask the routine Q’s and I alway relpy fine. Don’t know what they’d actually as if i Said 'Well totally crap actually, my face numb, fed up sitting on my big fat ass blah blah blah’
Whats the point, Marilyn got it right below. Big Hugs to you Donna