It was very early in 2003, almost exactly a year my AVM operation, and during the afternoon I began my nap in our living room. It was all quiet and my wife was working in another part of the house when my dream began. I started to dream about my father who had passed away just a few months ago and in it he called me on the phone and asked how we all were doing and in it he told me he was coming over that day to visit us.
As I continued to dream our older daughter came in the house and she was about 25 and as she went by she asked how I was and didn't seem to notice that I was dead asleep. I answered something like "UGH!" and she still went on talking, and asked me what was happening. Still only partly
awake I told her that my dad had called and was on his
way over for a visit. As I woke up fully I remembered
everything and that he was deceased. Daughter went down
stairs to see her Mom.
A few minutes later I was up off the easy chair and wife asked me if I was OK. Sure I said and told her how daughter
had come in and talked to me while I was still asleep and
that bothered me. She laughed and told me that daughter
had just come to see her and had told her that her
dad was having another AVM or something like that. She asked me about my Dad's telephone message and I told her that asleep I didn't know anything about anything, but I knew awake that he was gone and so the telephone call had just been a dream.
Daughter has from time to time driven me crazy and I her I am sure. She married a few years after this incident,and
I had the joy of "giving her away",and today is expecting her second child in just a very few weeks.
One day maybe she will come to understand how it feels to have her offspring wake her up in the afternoon from
a deep sleep and dream!
Hi John, Thank you so much for sharing this experience and I have one to relate to you. My parents both died in 2005 so when my AVM burst in May of 2011, my parents had been long deceased. Well, when I was hospitalized for 9 weeks, I would mention to one of my brothers that our mom had visited. I even wrote in a journal that I kept when I returned home that my mom had stopped by for a visit. So, I begged my husband to take me to see my parents and I meant my childhood home but he took me to the cemetery. When I saw their stone with the dates, I remembered that they were dead for I had been there! Really, I was grateful that my husband had brought me there and I returned to reality about my parents. God bless your family and you abundantly, John.
Thank you, Susan. I can appreciate your experience. Your husband handled it well, it sounds to me like. After our near deaths
then we all have to come back to reality. And in my case, I had
to come back to reality from my dream when I awoke.
My wife told me long ago how from time to time she would dream about her deceased mother, and she would ask her daughter how she was getting along, and
wife would, in the dream, fill her in on what had been happening!
Thanks for sharing the additional info., John, and yes, I can understand your wife's dream. I remember when my dad died (also in 2005 but he had been in a nursing home for 2.5 years for dementia so we mourned him when he entered the nursing home) that I realized I was an adult orphan and 3 of my close friends had been in the same position for many years so I felt like I joined a club where I never wanted to be a member ... lol. Really, John, my mom was 84 and my dad was 87 so they lived long lives but you know, when it's a parent .... sadness.
I understand how you felt to lose your parents, because I felt the same way that you did. One more strange(to me) experience.
Two years ago we moved from our small house where we had raised our kids, and of course we had to throw tons of things away and go through everything. My short term memory had been shot for the time being when I had my AVM surgery, but there was never anything wrong with my long term memories.
Well, when cleaning out things there was only one personal piece of memorabilia that I did not remember. It was laying on top of a box of our things and I had never seen
it before. It was a thick card from my long deceased "best friend" congratulating me
on the birth of our second(and last) child. Why did't I recall it? This will sound stupid, but to me I wonder if its appearance was a nod from my old friend. It had been 16 years from
the date of my daughter's birth to the date of my friend's death and 16 more years to
the date of our moving and finding the card. It just struck me as odd. I went through
tons of things and it was the only personal thing I found of mine that I had no memory of.
John, thank you so much for sharing the card memory and my experience was I had challenges with my short term memory after my injury but no problems with my long term memory ... much to my family's dismay ... lol. So, I understand your perplexing experience and yes, I think that your deceased friend was communicating with you. Thank you, John, and I enjoy communicating with you.
Thank you, Susan. You lost your parents in 2005? I lost my dad in late 2002, and my mom in 2005 also. Dad had Alzheimer's, but mom had cancer which they had not
diagnosed correctly at first.
I do not know if I think that the appearance of this card was done by my deceased friend, but it was strange. Today, we are all moved in a new place{well, at least a different place)
and still have tons of things, interesting things, and still more than our share of junk!
Hey back to you, John and if the expression misery loves company is true, we have something else in common for my dad had dementia due to strokes and died in late August of 2005 and my mom died in February 6 months after her cancer diagnosis. Actually, John, her doctor apologized to me for misdiagnosing her since he thought she was depressed due to my dad's situation. However, we thought she was depressed too so I was grateful to the doctor but my mom's main concern was pain and fortunately she was mostly pain free. So, you are a member of the adult orphan club too ... lol.
In June 2005 my mom had an appointment the next day to see her oncologist and I was to take her. In the middle of the night, about 3 AM, I had to let my dogs
go outside and while there I waited for them and I was half asleep, and there were these thoughts that came to my head. Something like this..Your mother is going to die soon, but don't be sad because she is going to Heaven.
The next morning I brought her in and as soon as the Dr. saw that she was jaundiced he ordered her to the hospital, and I wheeled her in to her room myself. There was a white board on the wall and there was only one word on it. "Heaven" Why was it there? Don't know, but to me it was a continuation of what I had been told or dreamed or whatever it was.
She was there nine days and got worse every day and died on the last day. The Dr. called me and told me that for her to go so quickly was astonishing. I think that it was supposed to be that way and it was.
It hurts to lose them, but you know how it is. I miss them, the way they used to be when they were not so old. Your parents were good ones I know.
John, thank you for sharing your memory and yes, I miss my parents, especially my mom as I was close to her. Actually, we live 3.4 miles from their former home and I was so grateful to my husband for agreeing to move near them. Our 2 children were my parents only grandchildren and in 2005, our son turned 16 and he was a pallbearer at each of his grandparents' funerals. Ugh, the memories are so sad but John, you have my empathy. Are your wife's parents alive?
Yes, well her step-mother is still alive, and the others are deceased. Sometimes it is better for them to die than to live in horrible pain
or live like a vegetable.
Years ago my co-worker, that I did not know well was divorced from his wife and had no close relatives. His nearest kin had him
placed in a nursing home to get his money...but he was then in good physical condition,
and one night he escaped and last we heard he was living in an undisclosed location
in the mid-Atlantic states. At least this is what he told former co-workers.
Hi John, I understand your comment that sometimes death is preferable to an altered life. I have said when I've heard about someone's passing suddenly that I thought they were fortunate to die so quickly. Well, God bless your wife's stepmother abundantly!
Thanks for sharing the co-worker story and I pray that he is living a good life wherever he is now. His situation sounded dire and ugh to what some people will do for money. One positive aspect of my brain adjustment (my term for my injury) is that I have little interest in money and possessions. Oh, I wish I could insure the people I love have a life worry-free of financial considerations but I am grateful to God for everything we have. I wish your family and you well.
Hi again, John and I just read your message to Bearcat. I was also 53 when my 1st AVM ruptured although unlike you, I am 3.5 years out from the injury. I am encouraged to read your progress and really, I continue to say that if I had been given the option of learning about AVM's in the manner I experienced, I would have declined but I am just dealing. Oh, if you should notice, I stepped down from my Moderator role and accepted the position as a Greeter so I welcome new member which is a role I enjoy.
Hi Susan. You were a very good moderator and I know you will also be a good greeter.
Bearcat will do well with time, and obviously you are doing well also. I am not feeling real good because I have to have surgery soon,(not major) and being in
a little pain I don't really feel like preparing for the Holidays, but I must.
But it will be over soon and I am looking forward to the Spring.
To all here I wish to have Happy Holidays and complete healing!